


Checkmate

by EternalNight88



Category: Death Note
Genre: Multi, Murder, OC, Other Character - Freeform, Suggestive Themes, VariousxOc, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-05-16 15:50:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 27,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5831521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternalNight88/pseuds/EternalNight88
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yuzuki Kitahara, the girl who was always alone. Watching as life passed her by and to see people's lives change with the flip of a switch. She always hates having to watch people's life fade just from the sight of those numbers. The numbers show their fate and in the end they always hit zero. Not bound by the Shinigami rules, she goes to help L take Kira down. But will she be able to keep his and everyone she cares  for numbers from hitting zero.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

Name: Yuzuki Kitahara  
Age: 24 (Will have the beginning chapters where she's 6 and 16 years old)  
Date of Birth: October 30, 1980  
Species: Human   
Power: Shinigami Eyes (Her ocular vision is a red hue in her vision but to others its just red.)  
Name At Wammy's: Shade or Usagi   
Intelligence: 9/10  
Creativity:8/10  
Initiative: 2/10  
Emotional Strength: 10/10  
Mental Strength: 5/10  
Physical Strength: 10/10  
Social Skills: 9/10  
Other Attributes: Master At Destroying Appliances With Her Bare Hands: 10/10 (She always wears black leather gloves)  
Known As: S or Shade Kitagawa


	2. The Eyes...That Made Me A Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Note: Has some implicit parts about suicide.

Age 6  
[Yuzuki POV]  
I was running, running from the people who hated me, running from the bullies, and worst of all I'm running from myself. My breath came in short puffs of air as my lungs burned with the need for more oxygen. Tears of frustration stung the corners of my eyes and I instantly wipe them away.  
You want to know how this all began?  
I got adopted by this British family and was named Leia Kirkland but I am originally named Yuzuki Kitahara, but I never really liked it because my parent's practically named me a lie because Leia means lie. But anyways, well it was a month ago, my 'family' moved me here to London, thinking that things would be different and that I would try to be a calm and composed young lady, instead of my usually violent self that they did not like might I add. We always get in fights about this because they always thought I was the one causing the trouble when the answer is blatantly obvious!! The trouble always found me and I never knew why, but my parents always thought I was crazy when I tried to tell them that I saw numbers. Sometimes the numbers stayed still, but other times they were rapidly changing, either for the good or the bad. I've always been able to see these numbers and people's real names at the top of their heads. I only knew that once their numbers went to zero......they died. And I, the person who can see the numbers wasn't able to stop it. Change that persons life for the better to change their life span....I always thought that these eyes were a curse. To, for all eternity just stare at the numbers, watch them change and watch that person's life fade.   
Now...if you don't mind, let's get back to my problem here!!  
"Get back here you freak!" One of my bullies said and I cringed at the thought of being kicked and punched without mercy.....again. Damn it all, why did I have to get 1st again on that test? I tried really hard not to pass it with an A, but with a B. But when my parents saw what I was doing, they told me to only get A's. Did my parents not notice the scars that were being lacerated across my body when I got home? Did they really hear me when I said I was fine? Did the teachers not see the glares of hatred? Or did they all ignore it like everyone else? I know I make them inferior and I may be a know-it-all, but at least I didn't do what any average smart kid would do. Rub it in their faces and make them feel stupid.  I just sat in the back of the classroom to ignore their glares and try to keep a cool, stoic mask but that apparently makes them angrier.  
I didn't have much time to think because they were gaining up on me. Without thinking rationally, my body bumped into something roughly making me fall to the ground. There stood one of the girls that was always trying to be better than me. I don't know why people are so jealous of me, why can't they just leave me be?  
"You're getting what you deserve." She says and the second I get up, she pushes me into the group of boys that I didn't recognize were there at all. My face was pressed roughly into the jagged concrete and one of the boys press their foot onto my head roughly making the skin of my temple be cut open by a sharp rock. The more he pressed, the more it dug into my temple making a slow and steady rush of blood rush out of my head.  
"You thought you could run from us?!" One boy shouts at me and kicks me in my side but I don't utter a sound because they just want to hear me scream and cry for mercy, those sadists...  
"Watch and learn boys, in a couple of minutes, she'll be begging for mercy." The leader says starts stomping on my back without stopping. I clutch the grass beneath me and try to take deep breaths as they kicked me around. I couldn't stop the monstrous rage that filled me completely.   
"You just think that you're so smart, don't you? Ever since you've came here, I've always been second in everything!! Its annoying how you make it seem like you never try and that you are better than everybody else! You should just die!! No one will miss you, I see the way your parents look at you. They hate you, you're nothing but a freak!!" The leader said and I glance up at his head to see his numbers decreasing quickly by the minute. Kyosuke Nakajima, something is going to happen that is making his life span decrease by the seconds that pass by. Whatever is happening, he will die...soon. His words, they didn't faze me because I already knew, what he is telling me. It was all the truth and nothing I could say would cover the truth.  
"Your red eyes, pink hair, your nothing but a monster!! Nobody likes you because of that, you walk around acting like your better than all of us and we're tired of it." Kyosuke shouted at me and when I managed to lift my head, a crowd was starting to form around us and I know that I couldn't run anymore. Their laughing at my demise and I can only see their smiling faces, big white grins that surround me with their echos of laughter. Their mocking and laughing seemed to make something inside of me snap. Once their feet got off of me, I sat up only to feel the blood trickle down the side of my head. Something about the way how I am bleeding made me want to laugh.....so I did. It was like the demons I held inside for so long decided to come out and play.  
"Haha......hahahaha....." I held a hand over my mouth to try to suppress the giggles.  
"Kyosuke... I think she just went crazy...." One of his minions said and it made me laugh even louder. With my bangs covering my eyes, I glance up at Kyosuke with a maddening glint in my eyes. I just loved the way how his eyes dilated in fear.  
"Hahahahaha.....sorry mom, dad...I couldn't keep my promise to be a good girl..." I quickly apologize and stand up with a aura of animosity. Kyosuke stepped back a bit and once he looked around for someone to help him, he realized that the crowd left him long ago, even his friends. Its funny, the way how people make you believe that they're there for you and when danger comes, they run. Now I understand why his lifespan was lowering, because of me. I rip out the rock that was lodged in the side of my head and watch silently as more blood dripped onto the concrete.  
"So in the end, you were nothing but a dog with all bark and no bite, huh....." I say and edge closer to him. He starts looking frantically left and right trying to find some way to escape and I giggle at this.  
"You can't run from me~" I say in a teasing tone and walk closer.  
He flinches and just when I was about to take a step closer, he hastily scrambled towards the street that was behind the playground. I couldn't help but chuckle at how his end will be by a car.   
Once he got to the crosswalk of the street, he started to speed walk to the other side only for a car to speed past the red light and collide with Kyosuke's body. As I watched the show, I watched with spite as his number hit zero.    
I watch from the distance as his life faded from his eyes and his body fell limp against the ground. The ground getting stained by his blood and the driver got out and stared in horror as he saw the dead kid underneath his vehicle.  
"Miss Kirkland, what do you think you're doing?! The kids told me that you picked a fight with Kyosuke!!" Of course my classmates would twist the truth for their favor wouldn't they. Our home room teacher, Mrs. Ryuno came running over but all I could do was point to the spot where his body lay. I seemed to come back to my senses once she showed up.  
"*Gasp* Did you push him into the street?!" She asked frantically and gripped onto my shoulder tightly.  
"No, I-" I couldn't get a word out because Kyosuke's parents showed up at the front of the school and Mrs. Ryuno went over to them and explained what she thought she knew about the situation. I could tell that she pointed towards me multiple times and his parents looked over at the street to see their sons body and his mother started to scream hysterically. The father marched over to me and when he started talking, it didn't even sound comprehensible to me anymore. Then I saw the car of my parents pull up and they looked really mad but I saw a glint in their eyes that said that something was wrong.  
"Teacher, I was just walking outside and saw Kyosuke run into the street without noticing the car. I didn't do anything to him." I say firmly so that she and the adults would listen to me.  
"Well then, I am so sorry for accusing my top student like that. I was not thinking rationally, I was just so distraught over seeing one of my students dead." She says and tells me to go home with my parents so that I can get patched up. Not before calling the police on the man who hit Kyosuke.  
While I was in the car, my parents said nothing but had sad yet regretful looks in their eyes whenever they glanced at me.  
"Leia, your father and I have come up with a decision." Mother tells me and I look up from my lap and stare at their heads. I silently glare as I watch their lifespans decrease slowly but it's lowering. What's happening?  
"We were going to put you up for adoption, since we can't raise you anymore. But we decided that killing you was the best option, since you carry misfortune everywhere you go. We had our lives to live and we can't live if we're taking care of a troublemaker like you!" Dad, or at least what was my dad told me and that felt a sharp slap to my face. I turn my face and glared at my reflection in the mirror.  
"Hn..." I mumble in response and when the light turned red, Dad stopped the car and turned around only to glare at me.  
"Everywhere we go, you always manage to cause trouble for us and frankly, we're sick of it." My once nice and sweet mother told me in a cold tone that felt like icy daggers to my heart.  
"I got it, you don't want me anymore." I say watching their heads carefully for any signs. How is this possible, their life spans are decreasing at the same time and rate.  
"We.....we just can't do this with you anymore. We're really tired and we lost the will to raise you. Its not you, it really isn't....its just that.....we don't have the will to keep raising you, but we know that no one will want to raise you. So we decided together that we will kill you in this car, we'll die together." My crazy mother says and my eyes widen in shock. What?!  
She reaches behind me and pats my leg reassuringly and I start to shake as Dad starts driving faster. They really are planning to kill themselves, but why did I have to be included?!   
I struggle to put on my seatbelt  as it was long forgotten before since I was thinking so much. I pull it over my torso and try to find the buckle only to see its not there!  
"We figured you didn't want to die with us, so I had your father remove the buckle." Mother says and starts stroking my leg again. When I look up, I see their life spans are dropping rapidly fast as Dad turns a corner and goes in the opposite lane. In front of us was a large bus that was coming straight for us!!   
Without even noticing it at first, time seemed to slow and my eyes widen as Dad pressed on the accelerator with full force making my head reel back at the speed.  
"Stop the car!!! STOP IT!!!" I scream over the blaring horns but he doesn't listen as the bus comes at us with high speed.  
Then, that's when it all happened. My eyes widened as a bright light enveloped me and my body was flown out of my seat. My parents screamed in agony as the hit affected them the most. Dad, started thrashing around with a glass shard pierced his stomach through and he was coughing up blood onto Mother whose head was smashed against the window of the car with blood trickling down the front of her head. My father twisted his body to face me and I look down to see blood pooling at my feet and on my hands that I couldn't wipe off.  
"T-This is....all...your...f-fault....I-I........hate.....you-" He took his last breath and his body fell limply next to my bleeding form. I tried to stand only to jolt and let out a cry of pain as I felt the glass shards digging into my arm.  
The car starts to set on fire and I know I have to get out but the fumes weren't making me think strait. Mom, Dad, why would you do this to me....?  
I bite my lip only to feel blood come out between my teeth as I propped myself up and slowly, yet painfully slid away from the flames that started licking at my skin. It was such a pretty sight and I couldn't help but pause a minute as I watched those flames eat up my parents.  
"Is anyone alive?!" A voice sounds out and my eyes widen in shock as I manage to take my left leg and dangle it out of the car door.'  
[3rd POV]  
"There don't seem to be any survivors..." A paramedic muttered as he examined the ruined car that was set to flames. He rounded over the car only to make a double take once he found a child's leg dangling outside the car door, or at least what was a car door.   
He scurried over to the child's figure and pulled on the leg only to hear a groan of pain. His eyes widen and he looks over to his crew.  
"We got a survivor!! Help me pull her out, Smith!!" The man ordered him and the man, Smith immediately ran over and helped him pull her out. The paramedic crew put her onto a stretcher and pulled the barely conscious girl towards the van. But before they could fully pull her in, she glanced up at the grey sky before her only to see a monster sitting on a lamp post, looming over her. She didn't have the heart to scream so she just closed her eyes and drifted off the sleep. The van started moving and the shinigami that was watching these events take place chuckled and opened what was her father's death note.  
"This child seems interesting...." The skinny shinigami said and opened his black wings and soared after the ambulance. The very moment she got put in that ambulance, she decided right then, that this would be put all behind her.....she would forget. Never look back, the old her died along with her parents in that crash.


	3. The Eyes...That Made Me A Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Note: Has some implicit parts about suicide.

Age 6  
[Yuzuki POV]  
I was running, running from the people who hated me, running from the bullies, and worst of all I'm running from myself. My breath came in short puffs of air as my lungs burned with the need for more oxygen. Tears of frustration stung the corners of my eyes and I instantly wipe them away.  
You want to know how this all began?  
I got adopted by this British family and was named Leia Kirkland but I am originally named Yuzuki Kitahara, but I never really liked it because my parent's practically named me a lie because Leia means lie. But anyways, well it was a month ago, my 'family' moved me here to London, thinking that things would be different and that I would try to be a calm and composed young lady, instead of my usually violent self that they did not like might I add. We always get in fights about this because they always thought I was the one causing the trouble when the answer is blatantly obvious!! The trouble always found me and I never knew why, but my parents always thought I was crazy when I tried to tell them that I saw numbers. Sometimes the numbers stayed still, but other times they were rapidly changing, either for the good or the bad. I've always been able to see these numbers and people's real names at the top of their heads. I only knew that once their numbers went to zero......they died. And I, the person who can see the numbers wasn't able to stop it. Change that persons life for the better to change their life span....I always thought that these eyes were a curse. To, for all eternity just stare at the numbers, watch them change and watch that person's life fade.   
Now...if you don't mind, let's get back to my problem here!!  
"Get back here you freak!" One of my bullies said and I cringed at the thought of being kicked and punched without mercy.....again. Damn it all, why did I have to get 1st again on that test? I tried really hard not to pass it with an A, but with a B. But when my parents saw what I was doing, they told me to only get A's. Did my parents not notice the scars that were being lacerated across my body when I got home? Did they really hear me when I said I was fine? Did the teachers not see the glares of hatred? Or did they all ignore it like everyone else? I know I make them inferior and I may be a know-it-all, but at least I didn't do what any average smart kid would do. Rub it in their faces and make them feel stupid.  I just sat in the back of the classroom to ignore their glares and try to keep a cool, stoic mask but that apparently makes them angrier.  
I didn't have much time to think because they were gaining up on me. Without thinking rationally, my body bumped into something roughly making me fall to the ground. There stood one of the girls that was always trying to be better than me. I don't know why people are so jealous of me, why can't they just leave me be?  
"You're getting what you deserve." She says and the second I get up, she pushes me into the group of boys that I didn't recognize were there at all. My face was pressed roughly into the jagged concrete and one of the boys press their foot onto my head roughly making the skin of my temple be cut open by a sharp rock. The more he pressed, the more it dug into my temple making a slow and steady rush of blood rush out of my head.  
"You thought you could run from us?!" One boy shouts at me and kicks me in my side but I don't utter a sound because they just want to hear me scream and cry for mercy, those sadists...  
"Watch and learn boys, in a couple of minutes, she'll be begging for mercy." The leader says starts stomping on my back without stopping. I clutch the grass beneath me and try to take deep breaths as they kicked me around. I couldn't stop the monstrous rage that filled me completely.   
"You just think that you're so smart, don't you? Ever since you've came here, I've always been second in everything!! Its annoying how you make it seem like you never try and that you are better than everybody else! You should just die!! No one will miss you, I see the way your parents look at you. They hate you, you're nothing but a freak!!" The leader said and I glance up at his head to see his numbers decreasing quickly by the minute. Kyosuke Nakajima, something is going to happen that is making his life span decrease by the seconds that pass by. Whatever is happening, he will die...soon. His words, they didn't faze me because I already knew, what he is telling me. It was all the truth and nothing I could say would cover the truth.  
"Your red eyes, pink hair, your nothing but a monster!! Nobody likes you because of that, you walk around acting like your better than all of us and we're tired of it." Kyosuke shouted at me and when I managed to lift my head, a crowd was starting to form around us and I know that I couldn't run anymore. Their laughing at my demise and I can only see their smiling faces, big white grins that surround me with their echos of laughter. Their mocking and laughing seemed to make something inside of me snap. Once their feet got off of me, I sat up only to feel the blood trickle down the side of my head. Something about the way how I am bleeding made me want to laugh.....so I did. It was like the demons I held inside for so long decided to come out and play.  
"Haha......hahahaha....." I held a hand over my mouth to try to suppress the giggles.  
"Kyosuke... I think she just went crazy...." One of his minions said and it made me laugh even louder. With my bangs covering my eyes, I glance up at Kyosuke with a maddening glint in my eyes. I just loved the way how his eyes dilated in fear.  
"Hahahahaha.....sorry mom, dad...I couldn't keep my promise to be a good girl..." I quickly apologize and stand up with a aura of animosity. Kyosuke stepped back a bit and once he looked around for someone to help him, he realized that the crowd left him long ago, even his friends. Its funny, the way how people make you believe that they're there for you and when danger comes, they run. Now I understand why his lifespan was lowering, because of me. I rip out the rock that was lodged in the side of my head and watch silently as more blood dripped onto the concrete.  
"So in the end, you were nothing but a dog with all bark and no bite, huh....." I say and edge closer to him. He starts looking frantically left and right trying to find some way to escape and I giggle at this.  
"You can't run from me~" I say in a teasing tone and walk closer.  
He flinches and just when I was about to take a step closer, he hastily scrambled towards the street that was behind the playground. I couldn't help but chuckle at how his end will be by a car.   
Once he got to the crosswalk of the street, he started to speed walk to the other side only for a car to speed past the red light and collide with Kyosuke's body. As I watched the show, I watched with spite as his number hit zero.    
I watch from the distance as his life faded from his eyes and his body fell limp against the ground. The ground getting stained by his blood and the driver got out and stared in horror as he saw the dead kid underneath his vehicle.  
"Miss Kirkland, what do you think you're doing?! The kids told me that you picked a fight with Kyosuke!!" Of course my classmates would twist the truth for their favor wouldn't they. Our home room teacher, Mrs. Ryuno came running over but all I could do was point to the spot where his body lay. I seemed to come back to my senses once she showed up.  
"*Gasp* Did you push him into the street?!" She asked frantically and gripped onto my shoulder tightly.  
"No, I-" I couldn't get a word out because Kyosuke's parents showed up at the front of the school and Mrs. Ryuno went over to them and explained what she thought she knew about the situation. I could tell that she pointed towards me multiple times and his parents looked over at the street to see their sons body and his mother started to scream hysterically. The father marched over to me and when he started talking, it didn't even sound comprehensible to me anymore. Then I saw the car of my parents pull up and they looked really mad but I saw a glint in their eyes that said that something was wrong.  
"Teacher, I was just walking outside and saw Kyosuke run into the street without noticing the car. I didn't do anything to him." I say firmly so that she and the adults would listen to me.  
"Well then, I am so sorry for accusing my top student like that. I was not thinking rationally, I was just so distraught over seeing one of my students dead." She says and tells me to go home with my parents so that I can get patched up. Not before calling the police on the man who hit Kyosuke.  
While I was in the car, my parents said nothing but had sad yet regretful looks in their eyes whenever they glanced at me.  
"Leia, your father and I have come up with a decision." Mother tells me and I look up from my lap and stare at their heads. I silently glare as I watch their lifespans decrease slowly but it's lowering. What's happening?  
"We were going to put you up for adoption, since we can't raise you anymore. But we decided that killing you was the best option, since you carry misfortune everywhere you go. We had our lives to live and we can't live if we're taking care of a troublemaker like you!" Dad, or at least what was my dad told me and that felt a sharp slap to my face. I turn my face and glared at my reflection in the mirror.  
"Hn..." I mumble in response and when the light turned red, Dad stopped the car and turned around only to glare at me.  
"Everywhere we go, you always manage to cause trouble for us and frankly, we're sick of it." My once nice and sweet mother told me in a cold tone that felt like icy daggers to my heart.  
"I got it, you don't want me anymore." I say watching their heads carefully for any signs. How is this possible, their life spans are decreasing at the same time and rate.  
"We.....we just can't do this with you anymore. We're really tired and we lost the will to raise you. Its not you, it really isn't....its just that.....we don't have the will to keep raising you, but we know that no one will want to raise you. So we decided together that we will kill you in this car, we'll die together." My crazy mother says and my eyes widen in shock. What?!  
She reaches behind me and pats my leg reassuringly and I start to shake as Dad starts driving faster. They really are planning to kill themselves, but why did I have to be included?!   
I struggle to put on my seatbelt  as it was long forgotten before since I was thinking so much. I pull it over my torso and try to find the buckle only to see its not there!  
"We figured you didn't want to die with us, so I had your father remove the buckle." Mother says and starts stroking my leg again. When I look up, I see their life spans are dropping rapidly fast as Dad turns a corner and goes in the opposite lane. In front of us was a large bus that was coming straight for us!!   
Without even noticing it at first, time seemed to slow and my eyes widen as Dad pressed on the accelerator with full force making my head reel back at the speed.  
"Stop the car!!! STOP IT!!!" I scream over the blaring horns but he doesn't listen as the bus comes at us with high speed.  
Then, that's when it all happened. My eyes widened as a bright light enveloped me and my body was flown out of my seat. My parents screamed in agony as the hit affected them the most. Dad, started thrashing around with a glass shard pierced his stomach through and he was coughing up blood onto Mother whose head was smashed against the window of the car with blood trickling down the front of her head. My father twisted his body to face me and I look down to see blood pooling at my feet and on my hands that I couldn't wipe off.  
"T-This is....all...your...f-fault....I-I........hate.....you-" He took his last breath and his body fell limply next to my bleeding form. I tried to stand only to jolt and let out a cry of pain as I felt the glass shards digging into my arm.  
The car starts to set on fire and I know I have to get out but the fumes weren't making me think strait. Mom, Dad, why would you do this to me....?  
I bite my lip only to feel blood come out between my teeth as I propped myself up and slowly, yet painfully slid away from the flames that started licking at my skin. It was such a pretty sight and I couldn't help but pause a minute as I watched those flames eat up my parents.  
"Is anyone alive?!" A voice sounds out and my eyes widen in shock as I manage to take my left leg and dangle it out of the car door.'  
[3rd POV]  
"There don't seem to be any survivors..." A paramedic muttered as he examined the ruined car that was set to flames. He rounded over the car only to make a double take once he found a child's leg dangling outside the car door, or at least what was a car door.   
He scurried over to the child's figure and pulled on the leg only to hear a groan of pain. His eyes widen and he looks over to his crew.  
"We got a survivor!! Help me pull her out, Smith!!" The man ordered him and the man, Smith immediately ran over and helped him pull her out. The paramedic crew put her onto a stretcher and pulled the barely conscious girl towards the van. But before they could fully pull her in, she glanced up at the grey sky before her only to see a monster sitting on a lamp post, looming over her. She didn't have the heart to scream so she just closed her eyes and drifted off the sleep. The van started moving and the shinigami that was watching these events take place chuckled and opened what was her father's death note.  
"This child seems interesting...." The skinny shinigami said and opened his black wings and soared after the ambulance. The very moment she got put in that ambulance, she decided right then, that this would be put all behind her.....she would forget. Never look back, the old her died along with her parents in that crash.


	4. W Is For Watari

[3rd POV]  
As the young girl was being carried over to the hospital, the medics managed to keep her vitals stabilized until they secured her in ICU. She kept coming in and out of consciousness and she kept feeling like she was fading, in all honesty, she just wanted to disappear.  
Once they managed to pull into the hospital grounds, they pushed the stretcher out onto the parking lot and into the hospital where doctors stuck IV’s in her and replaced her oxygen tanks. All she felt were the never ending hands that were ripping her clothes off to get a better look at her wounds only to see that they were slowly healing.  
And soon, there she lay on the hospital bed, conscious and just staring up at the Shinigami that decided to see her. He stayed hovering over her while staring down at her with interest. He was surprised that she didn’t start screaming as all the other people would if they touched a death note to see her. She kept staring until she stopped breaking the silence with a slight cough from the inhalation of the debris.  
“Well girly, aren’t you gonna ask why I’m here?” The shinigami asked her and was only surprised when she smirked knowingly.  
“Not really, I know that your only bored most likely and decided to visit a human. I am actually honored to catch your attention.” The said girl spoke sarcastically and the shinigami just chuckles at her inhumane reactions.  
[Yuzuki POV]  
“You should be, the names Kurai. You interest me little girl and I’d like to give you your parent’s death note.” Kurai said to me and I look at him, my eyes squinting to take in his deformities.\  
“You look interesting, you know that. Do all of you look like that?” I question him and he looks at me strangely.  
“No, not all of us. Some of us are very different looking.” He says and just when I was about to say something else. The doctor who apparently fixed my leg and put stitches on me came in and started talking to me about my bill.  
“We’ll have to call your parents so that they can come in here and pay the bills for your treatment.” He says quickly while writing a report on my health and progress. He told me that it would take me two to three weeks for my leg to be recovered because of the amount of white blood cells that I have in my body.  
They wrapped up my leg and put crutches at the end of my bed so that when I do get picked up, they won’t have to pick me up and I can use them to get around.  
“Where are your parents, Ms. Kirkland?” He asked me and I deadpanned as he just now asked me this question.  
“They died in the car crash.” I say, my voice monotone. Void of all and any emotion.  
“Do you have insurance?” He asked me. How was I supposed to know? I’m only six!!  
“Excuse me sir, Ms. Kirkland has a visitor.” A nurse said and the doctor gave me a second glance before going outside.  
“Why hello there Miss.” The voice of a middle aged man echoed throughout the room and when I looked up, I saw a man with white hair and a cool little mustache to top it off. He looked really nice but judging by his body language and his appearance, he seemed to be previously an engineer of some sort.  
“Um, I don’t mean to be rude, but who are you?” I ask kindly since judging by the fact that he’s here. He must be from an orphanage of some sort.  
[Watari POV]  
“Um, I don’t mean to be rude, but who are you?” I ask kindly since judging by the fact that he’s here. He must be from an orphanage of some sort.  
I could tell that this girl has a lot of potential to be a resident at Wammy’s. She’ll be the first girl but I’m pretty sure she’ll be fine with the other two boys, A and BB. She seems to be judging me just by my appearance and I want to know what she thinks of me so I decide to test her ability to perceive my personality.  
“Why do you think I’m here?” I ask her and she puts her uninjured arm to her chin and seemed to think deeply as to why I am here.  
“Well, from the way how your dressed and since I don’t know who you are at all. I’m going to guess that you are here on businesses and that businesses is concerning to me. So I’m saying that there’s a 98% chance that you are here to recruit me for your new orphanage. Why, I am uncertain but I am sure that judging by your body language and appearance, you were some type of engineer in your previous years.” She tells me all this information and my smile widens as I knew I have found a potential candidate for the title of L.  
“Yes, you are indeed correct. I have come to ask you if you wanted to come and join my orphanage for gifted kids like yourself.” I ask her and her red eyes widened in shock. Wait, red eyes? Her eyes look just like Beyond’s.  
“I accept. Only if you’ll take me out of this hospital.” She says shyly and I know she feels unsure but knows that she doesn’t have many options available for her.  
“It’s a deal.” I say to her and she gives me a small smile.  
“Just let me go take care of the paperwork and we will be on our way.” I say to her and she nods. I feel a small smile slip onto my face as I walk out of the room and down the hall to discuss the payments with the front desk.  
[Yuzuki POV]  
I watch as Watari walks out the door and steps into the hallway only for Kurai to burst in a fit of chuckles.  
“What is wrong with you?” I ask him deadpanning.  
“You being all shy when your around a complete stranger. I’ve never seen someone change personalities that fast. Are you sure you don’t have a multiple personality disorder?” Kurai asks me and if he was not floating in the air and if I didn’t have an injured arm, I’d totally hit him right now.  
“I can’t help it. That guy just gave me a home. I didn’t want to stay here only for another orphanage to take me. I only wonder how he knew I was here.” I say to myself and Kurai shrugs even though nobody asked him.  
Then the doctor and Watari walk in and then Watari passes me a pressed white shirt with a black skirt and brown shoes.  
“Thank you Mr. Watari.” I say politely and take the clothes out of his hands. The doctor leaves the room with only the two of us in it. I quietly excuse myself and walk into the bathroom to change into the clothes and come out with the folded hospital gown. After signing papers for my release, Watari walks with me outside and into a black limousine. How he got this, I don’t know but I must admit that it is nice.  
“You may call me Watari. But we need an alias for you Miss Kirkland.” He says to me and I ponder on the thought of another name. What would it be?  
“Well, Leia Kirkland is just the name my foster parents gave me, but that girl died in the suicide my parents attempted. My real mom didn’t have enough time to name me because she died after childbirth, and I don't know where my father is. But I think I will go with the letter S.” I say and he looks over at me while he was driving.  
“And why S?” He asks me and I smile softly.  
“Well, the doctors said that she was going to name me something that starts with the letter S. My full name will be Shade Kitagawa because I always like to be secluded off so I can think without others bothering me and instead of naming myself Shadow, which is dark and depressing and will give people a feeling that I’m a dark type of person since society can be so judgemental. And because the S is for the second L, since I don't plan on being the next L.” I explain to him and he hums at my response, somewhat appeased.  
I look outside the passenger’s window and feel a blood chilling feeling inside of me once I realized that we were now in a car that could potentially kill us. Just the fact that I just got out of a car accident, it still leaves me a bit shaken up at the fact that my parents tried to kill me and only succeeded in killing themselves. I watch as Watari drives carefully as if knowing that I was showing slight discomfort and when we get to a red light, he rubs my head affectionately.  
“Don’t worry, I’ll drive slowly so you won’t feel paranoid. You’ll be just fine Shade.” He says already using my alias.  
“Okay….Watari…” I say smiling at the fact that he touched my hair without feeling disgusted or anything like that.  
“Also, you know English pretty well right?” He asks me and I nod.  
“Since I am Japanese, I also know Japanese and my foster parents taught me English. I was taking a class on how to learn foreign languages as well.” I say and he nods, accepting my answer.  
“Watari…” I call out to him and he hums, waiting for me to continue.  
“Who are the other kids and what are they like?” I ask him and he doesn’t say anything for a while and just stares ahead at the street.  
“Well, their two boys, A and BB who are also the same age as you. A, he is the first boy to be accepted into Wammy’s and soon after BB came along, they all somehow managed to get along really well. A, is always trying to prove himself to others and he is highly insecure while BB on the other hand, well is a little bit…..how would you say, showing signs of being unstable. But I assure you that they are both nice and I’m sure that they’ll welcome you in just fine.” He says as he pulls into a big a big building that I’m guessing is the orphanage. It looks so huge, and it seems very spacious from the outside. Watari pulls out a cell phone and calls somebody.  
“We’re here. Rodger, open the gates.” Watari said and in less than a minute, the gates spread opened revealing the large open doors of Wammy’s.  
Watari parked the car and got out only to come around and open my door to help me out. Because of my leg being twisted, I had to use the crutches that the hospital gave me and I pull those out before Watari helped me up to stand on the crutches. I hobble a couple of times with my crutches because I've never used them before. I somehow managed to make it up the steps without Watari's insistent help. He opens the door wide enough for me and my crutches through and the minute I step through those doors, two mysterious boys came running up to me trying to judge me by my appearance and started to bombard me with questions until Watari told them to leave me alone until I took my test. After looking around quite a big, Watari led me to his office that was lined up with tests.  
"So, I'm going to assume you have been expecting me then." I say and pick up t h e rubix cube and started messing with it a bit. Watari doesn't say anything and uh st let's me enjoy these easy puzzles. I think I'm going to enjoy my stay here.


	5. Kidnapping Is The Way To A Woman's Heart

[Shade POV]  
I continue to happily fiddle with the rubix cube and in under five minutes I complete it to much to my dismay. While I was pouting, Watari came over and congratulated me on completing it and I gave him a sad face.  
“Do you have any more puzzles, I want to try another one.” I say and he chuckles, leaving the room only to come back with a blank white 1000 piece puzzle game making me cheer. The only thing that interested me in my childhood was solving puzzles no matter what they were.  
“You can start it now.” He says and I happily dump the pieces onto the floor and start piecing them together, working from the inside to the outside and after 30 minutes of putting them together, I only needed to add in three more pieces to complete it. I look around for the missing three pieces only to find that they were not there. I look over at Watari with a questioning gaze and he just smiles at me.  
“Your next challenge in order to complete the puzzle is to tell me where the other three pieces are. You have an hour to find them, but they’re only in this room.” He hints me and I watch him shift and cross his arms over his jacket. Does he have the pieces?  
“.....Watari, could it be that you have all three of the pieces?” I question him and he gives me a hearty chuckle before handing them to me and I place them in their spots.  
“How did you know that I had them?” He asked me and I look up from my crouched position and stare at him with glee.  
“Well, because of your body language.” I say to him and he looks taken aback.  
“Would you care to explain?” He wanted me to elaborate.  
“Well, after you told me to try to find the pieces, I paid very close attention to you because I deduced that their was a 86% chance that they would be somewhere near you. Knowing that it wasn’t put in any high places because you took under consideration of my height and the possibility of me hurting myself. Two, the fact that you said they weren’t outside gave me a hint because you did not want me to get lost on my first day here. And finally, the fact that you weren’t very discreet in hiding them because when you got the puzzle game out, I noticed you made an unusual shift of hand movements and that’s how I figured it out.” I say while biting on my thumb and staring at him hoping that he wouldn’t call me weird because of my deductions. He got up from his seat and walked over to me and I flinched preparing for the worst only to find that he gently was petting my head again.  
“Well done Shade, you are now the perfect candidate for being L. I truly wish that you would reconsider being the next L, but it is your wish after all.” Watari said as he was leading me to my room. I tried to memorize each long hall he took me until I came across room number 88, my favorite number.  
“Well, this is your room. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to come find me.” He said and handed me the key, about to walk out but I grabbed onto the bottom of his jacket making him stop and look at me.  
“Yes, Shade?” He looks at me questioningly and I hold my head down.  
“Do you think I can get more puzzles to do during the day?” I ask him and he pets my hair and smiles warmly at me making me feel elated. He must really like my hair because he keeps petting it.  
“Well, how about I let you do cases to help the police? Would you like to be a detective for the law?” He asks me and my eyes widen.  
“Isn’t that illegal since I’m underage?” I ask and he chuckles.  
“Well, I am allowed to take cases that the police weren’t able to finish and I can allow you to finish them.” He says to me and I nod.  
“Okay, if I can help make their jobs easier…” I say to him, accepting the offer.  
“Great, you’ll start first thing tomorrow.” He says and I nod for him to leave the room.  
I turn to face my room and intake the atmosphere around me, so far it seems to be great for me. I couldn’t help but wonder why those two boys were so intrigued with me. Oh right, the whole candidate for L thing. I don’t want to do it because I don’t think I can meet the expectations of being the next L, it’s way too much pressure that I know I won’t be able to handle. But those boys seemed to be staring at me with interest I presume. Especially the boy with the black hair and red eyes like me. Maybe….he could have the same eye powers as me since Shinigami eyes are so unusual and rare to find. Kurai told me that Shinigami can only drop down 4 to 5 Death Notes into the world. Its good they have a limit because if they didn’t, then we would all be dead….  
I take a breath and walk over to the closet to see that it’s stocked with pressed white shirts, black skirts, and some dresses that I know I will rarely wear on a normal bases but since Watari bought them for me, I will wear them soon.  
After opening every door in my room except my dresser, I opened the dresser to find the Death Note tucked under the pajamas I picked out.  
“Kekeke, I see you’ve found your parent’s Death Note.” Kurai comes from the ceiling and stares down at me. His nonexistent eye sockets of red eyeballs gleam in the dark room since I turned the lights off, I shrug him off and place the Death Note in my now empty suitcase that has a lock on it and slip it under my bed, wrapped in a spare sheet I found.  
“Why did my parents have a Death Note?” I question him and he just bursts out laughing.  
“They mostly killed businessman that put lawsuits on them or stood in the way of their hotel company, I found it quite interesting how people kill other people for the sake of power and fame.” He chuckles and I just blanch out as I take in the sight of him again. Now, normal people would think I’m crazy for seeing a Shinigami and probably send me to a mental hospital but, I am 5% sure what I’m seeing is real. I mean it told me about my eyes and I know for a fact that this thing is real.  
After changing my clothes in my bathroom, I decide to go out and poke him because I have nothing else better to do. I walk out in a big white shirt that can count as a dress and find Kurai sitting on my bed fiddling with a pillow out of boredom.  
Curious, I look behind him to see his wings were shifting silently and I saw a feather poking out of place so I plucked it.  
“OW! That freaking hurt!!” He almost swears at me and I chuckle.  
“So you guys really do feel pain.” I say and he glares at me.  
“Only when we’re in the human world.” He says and I get up from my bed and walk to the door after putting on some pants I found.  
“Where are you going?” He asks me when I open the door and I turn my head.  
“I’m hungry so I’m going to find the kitchen. I’ll be back.” I say and close the door so that he doesn’t give me any further protest.  
[Beyond’s POV] (This is a time where he’s not so crazy. Just a tad bit.)  
I sit on the top bunk bed and stare down at A who just keeps talking about the new girl. I have to admit, she did intrigue me because of her unusual pink hair and red eyes but what am I saying, my eyes are red too. Maybe she can see what I see…..maybe…  
“I wonder if Watari said she’d be the next L. She did look pretty intelligent, what do you think BB?” A props up and stares at me, waiting for an answer.  
“I don’t really care that much, she’s just a girl. Why don’t you just kidnap her to find out?” I snap after hearing about that girl for a whole an hour from him. It was truly annoying to hear about a girl that just got here. But after I replay my own sentence I shot up from my laying position, A’s eyes widened and then stared at me accusingly.  
“Why would we do that? We’re not going to bully her.” A says as I jump to the floor and fix my pants. I let a large grin appear on my face.  
“Are you really going to?” He asks me and I try to imagine the look of fear etched on to her face.  
Just when I was about to respond, I hear footsteps from her room which was right next to ours open. I chuckle as A tried to keep me away from the door when her footsteps was about to pass our door but I shook him off and just when she was about to walk away, I jerked the door opened and put a hand around her mouth to keep her from screaming and drug her in. Funny thing though is that she didn’t scream.  
I quickly closed the door back and kept my hand around her mouth to keep her from talking and suddenly, gravity defied me and I found myself on the floor and the girl on top of me. My 6 year old body squirmed for her to get off of me but she had her hand squeezed onto my neck.  
“What do you think your doing?” She asked me with no fear laced in her voice and once I looked up at her head, I saw nothing. No name, no numbers…..this girl just keeps getting even more interesting…  
“Well, my friend A here wanted to get to know you….But since he’s just so shy, I decided to take matters into my own hands.” I say and she gets off of me and sits next to A on the bed with her hand held out for him to shake.  
“Hi, I’m S or known as Shade. It’s nice to meet you A.” She says smiling brightly and I don’t know why but that made something inside of me flicker for a split second. Weird….  
“And BB, kidnapping is totally the way to a woman’s heart, just saying.” She says as she gets up from the bed and hold her hand out for me to take.  
“That’s the way how I do it.” I say jokingly and she punches me on the shoulder. We stare back at A and he does the same to us until we all of a sudden burst out in long fits of laughter. A and I seemed to forget about the potential threat this girl was for being the second L and I threw my head back and S fell to the floor, A on the other hand just fell into his pillow trying to stop the fits of laughter. I could tell that S was going to be with us for a long time, together, I feel like we could conquer anything. But that all changed, and after that change everything was no longer the same. Our worlds went to hell, and the three of us split down into three paths that we each took without looking back and no regrets.


	6. The End Of A Is Near

[Shade POV]  
“It’s been ten years since that day.” I sigh looking up at the cold winter sky and watch the tendrils of air escape my lungs and into the night sky. I look down at my scarred ankle, tracing the burn mark from that day. Now, here I am, sitting outside on a tree branch looking up at the moon, trying to find some sort of solace in it. In eight years, BB, A, and I have become best of friends, during these ten years, Watari finally found L, whose name means Lost One. In those ten years, a fourth generation of Wammy’s kids has begun, in those ten years, conflict has arisen between my two friends and L since the pressure was more intense now that he was here. I barely even saw A anymore, only time I ever saw him, he was always avoiding me by digging his grave by studying himself to death and to a point where Beyond got worried and demanded me to do something. So every time this happened, I always either knocked him out by his pressure point or drugged him through his favorite food, apples.  
"Shade!" I just shook off the voice, thinking it was from my head. After all, I am a schizophrenic. Fun, right?  
Now, I know what your thinking. What could have happened in this long time period that has driven everyone in Wammy’s insane, well that person is he himself, L Lawliet. He always seemed to not try at everything he does and still gets excellent scores that are always tied with mine. But, to this day, I still am not wanting to be the second L.  
"Shade!!" Again I just casually brush it off and sink back into my thoughts.  
Somedays, I try to go out and talk to L and I saw that he, just like everyone else here was feeling alone. Now Beyond may always tease and prank L but I know he sees right through his pranks, but what I don’t know is why doesn’t he say anything about it. Is it because he wants Beyond to feel like he's superior over him for a short time? No, that can't be. L is way too childish to lose to something like that....unless he has an ulterior motive which includes raising BB's pride. But what can that...  
"Leia Kirkland!!!" A voice called out to me and my eye twitched. Only one person knows about that name......Beyond...  
I look down from my perch to find my best friend staring at me with a critical glare. Oh, so he was calling me this whole time...  
I jump down from my spot on my branch making BB's eyes roll at my antics and I feel the adrenaline rush when he catches me. He sets me down and I smile up at him since he was taller than me, even though he slouches like L.  
L, the pressure also backed BB into a corner so badly that he will always see himself as Back-up and now he is always imitating L. There is never a day that he doesn't steal my powder, eyeliner, my eye shadow, and my hair gel to make himself look like L. L and I have the same complexion, so when BB stole it I wasn't that surprised. At first I thought that he loved L so much that he decided to be just like him and that he came out of the closet.  
Let me tell you, for almost a month he was mad at me but then came to me, demanding me to show him how to apply it. It was pretty fun since Beyond was serious about it and wasn't difficult like how he normally is. So, now I just stopped caring when he took it.  
"You really are too light S. Have you been eating?" He asks me and I cock my head to the side to think. When was the last time I ate?  
"If you have to think about it then that means it's a no. Let's go to my room where you can eat some jam with me." Beyond says leaving no opening for a protest, but since this is me were talking about here, I do it anyways.  
"But, Beyond-" I was cut off by the sound of my stomach growling angrily at me for not feeding it.  
"What were you saying?" He asks teasingly with a growing smirk. I taught him my ways a little bit too much. Maybe I should lay off those poor kids because we don't need too many me's running around Wammy’s. I mean, I'm unique enough to only have one of me.  
"......Shut it..." I grumble out and step inside his room, only for my eyes to widen at the sight. His lights were shut off and so, on instinct I turned them on. Only for cheers to ring in my ears.  
"Happy Birthday Shade!" They said to me. This consisted of, Mello, Matt, Near, A, B, and I. There words made me blink owlishly at them. Today was my birthday? I froze, the room quietly waiting for my reaction and my eyes flickered to the calendar that read, October 30. I burst out laughing, falling to the floor as my lungs burned from my incessant laughter.  
"Guys....I think she's lost it...." Matt says not looking up from his psp I bought him. I am now starting to question if it was a good idea to buy him that. I mean the kid went through withdrawal so badly when Roger took all his systems as punishment. Remembering the sight of his twitching form made me laugh harder. My stomach was killing me, probably from not eating and me being hysterical.  
"I'm starting to worry. Should we call Watari?" A asks everyone as they stare at my twitching form on the ground. I don't know why I just can't stop!  
".......*giggle* To think... anyone would remember such a meaningless day! Its just too funny!" I say some how, I managed to stand up to lean on BB. He just looks at me like I fell off a train with blood on my clothes and was still walking.  
"Thank you everyone..  really, it's just that.. I didn't want to celebrate today at all..." I say only to feel Near's small hand clutch my skirt.  
I walk over to A's bed and sit on it with Near sitting in my lap. See, when I first met Near, I called him the all white version of L and practically made him my child. Near is my mini L panda and now,  he just accepts my cuddles openly just like L. When I first met Near, I always played games with him and one day he accidentally called me mama. Which was absolutely adorable and since then, Near has been attached to me and this somehow made Mello very angry. I told those three that I'd adopt them once I'm old enough and we can all live together.  
"You see....today was the day I was born, but it's also the day I was supposed to die......" I say softly and Mello and A freeze up and Matt drops his psp, the noise breaking into the white silence. Near shifts in my loose hug and hugs me tightly now.  
"Well....you're not dead. If you weren't here, I think everybody here would go crazy. After all, you are the mother to the second generation's." Beyond says to me and sits beside me and pulls me to him in a casual hug that made everyone in the room stiffen when he came in contact with me.  
"She is not our mother. I see her as something more than that!" Mello suddenly outbursts and then turns beet red when I stare at him. Everyone in the room sighed when I tilted my head, confused.  
"Poor kid.... to like someone like her..." Everyone in room sighed and A came towards me with a cake. For the first time, he wasn't avoiding me and was giving me his signature smile, A was smiling a real smile. Those bright smiles that always made my heart flutter. Yes, as the years passed by I developed feelings for this dork, A. He was always so optimistic, smart, funny and helpful towards me and because of that, it made me come to love him more than a friend.  
"Blow out the candles Shade." He says and I do, watching the flames flicker till tendrils of smoke that billows in the air.  
"Thanks you guys....really, I am glad to have met people like you all." I say, a bright smile appearing on my face that for shown reason makes all the guys in the room flush red. I wonder why though....  
For once I could actually say that my birthday was nice with people you cared for. After watching the party take place in A and BB's room, I noticed that everyone was asleep so I decided to take Beyond and the kids to my room to sleep. I noticed that A left before eating cake so I cut a slice for him and left my room to find him. I think now would be a good time to tell him how I feel about him.  
With my enhanced senses, I start to worry since I haven't seen A at all after 5 minutes of searching.  
Just then, I hear a bit of rustling from one of the first generation's, K's room. I decide to go down the hallway and without thinking or knocking. With the cake in my other hand, I open her door seeing it was unlocked, only to see a horrific sight to me. There, stood A and K, who were in an intense make out session. My eyes widened as A's tanned fingers tangled into K's brown locks. When he noticed that her door was open, he turned his head to look at me. He was about to say something but K pulled him back into her embrace. My whole body convulsed in disbelief and shock that I dropped the glass plate of cake to the ground. The plate shattering into pieces and I laughed inwardly at how ironic this was. I turned and was started to walk away, despite hearing A's pleas to stop. I.....I just felt so numb. My body was on autopilot while my mind and body were racing so much, it made my head hurt. I should have known from when A started to avoid me that he was uncomfortable being around me because he has done this for a while. I shouldn't have been so naive, I can read a person through and through but I was blinded by my love for him to fail to notice that he loved someone else.  
My thoughts were interrupted when a hand clenched down onto my wrist making me stop in my tracks. My head reeled back to see A's disheveled appearance because of his.... session with K.  
"S, it's not what it looks like. You got it all wrong...." He pleas for me to listen and is taken aback when I glare at him with hatred.  
"Really, so what would you call that then? Huh?! I'm not stupid A! So then what was I to you then A!" I shout at him while making my hand gestures.  
"I know you're not, after all you are the second version of L! That's why Watari was okay with you being called S because it means Second! You will always be in L's shadow, to him your just his shade!" He shouts back and his eyes widen in shock as if he let out a secret.  
"Ah...so....this is how you really feel about me......" I say, looking down not wanting to face him since my presence is disgusting to him.  
"No wait, Shade-!" He starts but when he reaches out to touch me, I slapped his hand away.  
"No A, you were using me this whole time to keep anyone else from becoming L. You knew this.....and yet....you played with me....I'm right, aren’t I?" I ask in a low tone and I don't get any feedback. Only silence that shows its true.  
"That's right." He mumbled and my eyes shot open.  
"What?" I ask still shocked by his words.  
"You are right. I was manipulating your infatuation for me to make sure that I stayed in the rankings. I never truly cared for you, in fact.....when you told BB and I about yourself, I always thought you were a monster...." He says in a monotone voice and I look up to face him to see his eyes unwavering. So... this is the true A huh......my eyes are filled with anguish and hatred that my red eyes glimmer in the dark with them.  
"I hate you A! You should have never met me, you should go die!" I slap him roughly and spin around walking quickly down the halls to get back to my room just to I could sleep. That's what I needed....sleep...... maybe when I wake up, this day will just be a bad dream… But what I failed to notice was as my words escaped me, A’s life span was decreasing.  
[A POV]  
I watched her go down the hallway and I went back to my room to see BB and the others weren’t in here, perfect. I knew I made her cry, I wanted her to hate me, the person I love the most. That's who I needed to hate me. It makes it easier to do this. The sight of her broken form broke me on the inside but her hatred for me was the final push to my ending. I was tired….tired of being someone that I’m not, tired of all the expectations that were given to me and I was tired of trying to be the next L. It took me years to realize that I wasn’t good enough to be the ext L and clearly after what I did to make Shade hate me, I wasn’t good enough to be her friend. I begged K who I knew was in love with me to do this for me so that this can set off Shade’s hatred, after all, I love her as well but I know she’s too good for a person like me. I wanted her to say that she hated me from her own mouth because I knew her words butchered me and when I stayed silent, I made her think that all that happened was true when in reality, it wasn’t.  
I explain all of the things that happened in the letter to Shade and made separate others for the others. I wanted them to know that ever since L came, Wammy’s House has become a nightmare.  
I tell Shade in her letter about how much I will miss her and that I am so sorry for making her cry for someone as worthless as me and to the others I said for them to take care of Shade.  
It was time…. the clock struck 12 o'clock and I knew that I needed to do this now or else it would be a while before I got another opportunity alone like this. I dragged the rope I hid under my bed and get on BB’s top bunk and wrap the rope together to make a noose. After pulling on the ends to make sure it's secure, I stand on the edge of BB’s bed, thinking about all the regrets I held within myself and my biggest one was making Shade cry. I hope that one day she can forgive me and live on without me. BB will be there for her, I know he loves her but he just doesn’t recognize that emotion yet. But in time, he will….. as for now...goodbye everyone….. I jump from his bed and feel the noose constrict around my neck and as my neck closed up, I closed my eyes waiting for my eternal peace.  
“Shade…...I...I love you… “ Were the last thoughts that appeared in my head making me smile at the memory of her bright, smiling face…..I will always love you….goodbye….  
(Okay, so I changed Shade, Beyond, and A's initial ages. The are now 16, L is 14, Matt is 10, Mello is 11, and Near is 9. In case any of you get confused. Ignore the typos when they say she's 14.)


	7. Shade + Paranoia = Hysteria

[Shade POV]  
That night, I didn't even make it to my bed. The minute I opened the door, I couldn't stop the tears from silently falling. A pair of arms entrapped me into a hug. My eyes widened when I saw black voids, a red tint in each iris. They could only belong to one person.....why was he up?  
".......B-Beyond?" I ask in a low voice because the kids were sleeping. I looked over at them to see Matt and Mello holding each other and Near at the far edge of the bed. Those three are just so cute.  
"I'm guessing you found A? Did he give you a goodnight kiss?" BB teases me and I flinch and clutch his white shirt tightly.  
"B...." I murmur, my head pressed against his bony shoulder blade.  
"Oi, what happened?" He says and each time I try to turn away from A's poisonous words, they pierced me deeper.  
"A....he was just using me to ensure that he stays in the ranking.." I say to me BB and his eyes widened at my words. Soon as they widened they lowered with a deathly glare that made my spine shiver, but not in fear. I've never seen Beyond this way, and to be honest, it kind of scared me, it made me want to cover him from the darkness we face. To see that raw emotion of anger was in his beautiful irises, it was it as if he was sharing my pain. Nobody understood Beyond the way how I do, everybody always said that Beyond was very unstable but I never listen to them. They always said that he was nothing but evil, they just never saw the sadness and loneliness in his eyes, they never saw the sides that he showed me, even though it took awhile for me to even get near him like this. Ever since the day of the three of us bonded he's always been like and for that, I thank him.  
"That bastard...how dare he use your emotions like that..." Beyond growls out in a dark, animalistic, and possessive tone that made my skin crawl. I tighten my hold on him to snap him out of it and once I do, he finally let go of my arms leaving small crescent lacerations on my skin.  
".....Sorry..." He apologises and takes a hesitant step back and tries to get away from me but I grab onto his shirt sleeve and he flinches at my contact with his cool skin.  
Beyond never liked it when others made contact with him so it took him a while to even let me into his personal space without him freaking out. To this day if I touch him without him being aware he will go into a panic. But I always made sure to stay by his side, no matter what.  
"N-No... don't touch me....." He whimpers with a slight tone of disgust towards himself. This is exactly why I can't leave him alone for too long because he has severe paranoia or anxiety as you may say and he goes into a state of panic sometimes making him take medicine. Each time he does, I am there holding his hand to comfort him as they force him to take it.  
"B.....shouldn't I be feeling something. I just....I just feel so hollow. I really don't want to believe his words but he just looked so serious when he was speaking to me. It really hurt me B..." I mumble into the back of his shirt as I embrace him from behind.  
"Shade, let's just get some rest. Today was a long day and my medicine is finally kicking in." Beyond says as he holds my wrist possessively and drags me to my black sheets of heaven.  
The minute I get in, Near somehow gets in between us and lays his head into my chest and Mello, in his sleep wraps his arms around me from behind. These boys, they truly are my family....  
"Shade." B calls out to me and twirls a strand of my hair in between his long, slender fingers.   
"What?" I whisper as Near snuggled into me again making me awe at how cute he was unconsciously being.  
"Just know that even when everyone leaves you, I won't." Beyond states with a hidden passion that I've never heard in him before.  
"And why is that Beyond?" I ask just thinking that he was just joking but his seriousness in his next set of words made me be taken aback.   
He kisses the strand of my hair he was holding and stares at me making me stare back and he gave me a inhumane smirk.   
"Because, you belong to me. Nobody else shall claim you, you will stay with me forever." He says this with a strong sense of possessive passion in his voice.  
"Beyond....are you feeling alright?" I ask only for my question to fall on deaf ears. My little psychopath drifted off to  
sleep long time ago. I just smile softly and ignore the constant alarm that was telling me to go check on A. But I shrugged it off and snuggled into both Mello and Near's warmth, allowing it to lull me to sleep.  
*Early Next Morning* [Beyond POV]  
I woke up at 10 o'clock the next day to feel the medicine start to wear off. Looking around Shade's room, I see that nothing really changed in here. She never really used her own room and once we bonded, she started sleeping in our room when we were 8. Which mind you, I didn't mind at all. She made it easier for me to keep track of her.  
Wait a second, where is she now that I think about it? Her side of the bed was cold and empty, where did she go?  
Just as I was going to have to find her, I hear her bathroom door open and she stepped out fully clothed. She had her waist long hair wrapped up with a towel lightly hanging around her neck.   
She had her eyes closed when she came out so once she neared the dresser that was by the bed to put on her wide framed glasses and once she faced away from me, I snuck up behind her. I quickly wrapped my arms tightly around her small waist and lift her up in the air, enjoying her hushed gasp of surprise.   
"Beyond!!" She whispers at me in a hushed yet angered tone. I decide to hold her bridal style and carry her over to her leather chair she sits in for working in cases and I detangle her pink locks and run the towel through her long hair. I never knew a girls hair could get so long after years of not cutting it. Then again, when we first met, her hair was always long. I pull out her blow dryer and set it on low, brushing through her hair lightly. Hopefully this didn't wake up any of the others.....  
A always told her he liked her unnatural hair color and that made her always love her hair. I like her hair because it brings out those wild red eyes of her that always gave me shivers of delight when she stares at me blankly.   
"B, I think it's dry now." She says and I nod, taking the comb and comb lightly through it. I tangle my hands into her  
long locks and make a long braid that goes to the center of her back. She always told me she felt better waking up and spending time with me, so today I'm not going to leave her side.  
"B, will you stay with me?" I hear her whisper and I smirk inwardly. She is now trapped in my web, she can no longer escape and I know she'll be of some use.  
"You are talking to me here, I'll never leave you." I smirk to her and she gives me a small smile, but I frown when I see it doesn't reach her eyes. Her usual shinning red hues are now dull with sadness and hatred.  
[Shade POV]  
"Let's go get you changed B, you don't need to show up to breakfast dirty. The kids shouldn't either." I try to evade his piercing gaze and after waking up all of the kids to leave and get changed, I watch them all leave with a smile etched onto my face. B for some reason stays with me and after I change my clothes, we head to his and.....A's.... room. I knew there was a 85% chance A was in the library.   
I walk up to their door and open it, only for my eyes to widen and instantly fill with tears. B, who was standing behind me was trying to figure out what was wrong with me and tries to move out of my way by my mind goes blank as I watch his body hang limply on the rope.  
"What......what...is.....this? A?!" My mind is slowly fading. When I saw A's body, last night made sense to me now.   
"A!! A!! WHY!!!!" I drop to the floor, I can feel the color leave my face as my mind tries to grasp the information he left for me but it keeps falling out of my grasp.  
BB goes over to A's limp body and takes his neck out of the noose and lays him gently on the floor. You can see the rope burns along his neck and his veins are prominent now. I crawl slowly over to him to see his once crystal blue eyes now a dark and dull blue, all signs of life drained from his corpse. I can feel the paranoia sinking in, like a shadow whispering it was all my fault. A made me say what I said because my words must have affected him so badly that it was the final push he needed. He made that scene up with K so that he would make me think irrationally.  
I could feel my whole world crashing down around me and all I could do is scream. Scream as the depression started taking over and the tears fell more and more. My throat felt raw from all my screams, my lungs burn, and my heart aches. How could he just leave us like this?! Did he not realize that we will be sad? Did he feel like I didn't care for him any more? I should have looked at his numbers.....I could have saved A. Why didn't I look?! A is dead now because of me!!  
I feel somebody shaking me repeatedly but I didn't respond, my guilt drowning me and making my world crumble to pieces. I leaned on A, I trusted him, loved him, cared for him, and he leaves me. He could have taken me with him....  
My crazed thoughts run to a halt when I feel something hit my cheek. I reopened my eyes and stared dully at B who seemed to be saying something to me but I couldn't hear him, it's like someone put a veil over me. He says something but I stood up, now listening and walked out of the room. Kids were surrounding the hallway and I glare at them, making them run away to their respective rooms. I start running blindly down the hallway, only for someone to grab the back of my hair and pull me harshly making me stop.  
It was Roger and he looked displeased at my visible paranoia.  
"Did you forget to take your medicine Second?" Roger asks me and I freeze at the thought but take a deep breath.  
".....Roger, have you seen Mr. Watari?" I ask calmly and he tells me he's outside sweeping. I don't even wait for him to say anything else and run as fast as I could. I could feel my whole body be set on fire but I ignored it and kept running.  
"Shade." L's voice rang into my ears and I just keep running, not looking back for anyone. When I finally got outside, I tripped over the stepping edge and fell to the ground. My knees burning harshly as my skin peels on the concrete. I somehow make it over to Watari and his eyes widen at my disheveled appearance.  
"......Watari......A is...A is...." I start going hysterical and clutch my head as all the voices mix in my head. Painfully, the image appears of A's limp body swinging back and forth made my stomach churn.   
"What's wrong with Alternative?" Watari asks as he tries to calm me down but images flow through my mind over and over again.  
"A committed suicide.......he's dead Watari!" I shout and feel all the life drain out of me. Roger appears with Beyond at his side and B stares at me worriedly but I just keep my head down as Roger tells Watari. Together, the two rush inside after calling the paramedics. L came up to us and for the first time, B did not say a word and got along with L, probably for the sake of my mental health. When I imagine seeing A's bright smile one last time, my world shattered. I can feel my body fall limply to the ground and in the distance, I  heard Beyond and L shout my name. I just wanted to disappear and be with A so, I let go....  



	8. Revelations

[In Shade's Mind POV]  
I could feel myself drowning, drowning in the never ending waves of angerand sadness. The never ending pressure that was on me. I was just falling in a bottomless pit of black that consumes me whole.   
fault!" A voice whispered in my ear and at hearing the somewhat familiar voice, I turned to it only to see nothing.  
I quickly turn my head back to see a figure in the distance, but why does it seem so familiar?  
The figure starts getting closer and closer to me and a scream rips through my throat at the sight of him. I fall on to the ground and try to scoot away from him as the fear ripples through me. Why is he here?  
"....A?" I ask despite the paralyzing fear. I'm scared, why did he have to be here?   
I manage to stand up on my own two feet and stare at his figure in disbelief. Why couldn't he just leave me alone? Is it because I killed him? Why?.....Why!?  
I clutch the crown of my head and try to step away as he nears closer, but tendrils of shadows hold me tightly. I try to struggle but it only makes their grip tighter. Everywhere they touched left a burning sensation in its wake.   
"Shade, it's all your fault. You are the person that killed me." He says to me as he gets closer. He looks the same, the only thing that was different was the fact that his crystal blue eyes were no longer, but the empty eyes that I saw on his dead figure. He tackles me to the ground and stares at me with an intense glare of hatred. I let out a quiet yelp as his hand grasped on my throat.  
"......Let....go....A!" I manage to let out before his grip got tighter. He knew that I loved him and that I would never hurt him. His mocking grin says it all.  
"Oh, what's the matter Shade? Can't hurt little old me?" He chuckles with a Cheshire grin on his face. I just turned my head defiantly from him. He scoffed and made his grip on me tighten.   
"It's all your fault I'm dead Shade. You knew that you were the only one that could have easily ended me. My life was simply hanging by a thread and you just ended it!" His words cut me deep. I did not know I had such an effect on him.  
"......." I'm unable to say anything. My words wouldn't have been able to come out anyways.  
"Why so quiet now Shade? Can't you see?! I died because of you-" A shouts at me with his grip tightening on me. But what he didn't notice till now was the fact that I was crying. The warm tears fell with ease as I couldn't form into a ball and comfort myself as I usually would. I felt pain, so much of it that I could barely feel anything else, just the hot tears that lead trails down my cheeks.  
"Why are you crying?" He asks me in a less harsh voice, though it was still harsh. He releases his grip on me and sits next to my body; staring down at me.  
Air pushed itself back inside of me and I coughed uncontrollably at the feeling of oxygen filling my lungs.  
"I....I am so sorry A!" I say and pounce on him, embracing him and he stares at my back confused.  
"Why are you hugging me? I just choked you!" He says, pulling away from my hug.  
"I know, I deserved it." I say and he just stares at me agape. Then he just starts laughing.  
"You understand why I did it right? I needed to break away from the pressure the world and Wammy’s put on us kids. Always trying to be number 1, never backing away from  the chance of getting to be the second L. I didn't want to continue living my life as someone else's shadow." He says softly and I just smile sadly at the ground that started to crack beneath us. I nod in understanding, the answer was as clear as day.  
"Oh, looks like your body is trying to wake you up. I guess this is goodbye, try not to die the way I did." He says embracing me in a tight hug. His vibrant blue eyes were back and I smiled inwardly at this, he was back. He leaned down and kissed me and smiled warmly at me, almost replacing my guilt. I couldn't bear it anymore and more hot tears fell down, the landscape was collapsing.  
"A, promise me you'll always be near me. I need you to promise me that much!" I say as the landscape starts to shatter. I see him shake his head to my demand and when he opened his mouth to say something else, the sound of shattering made him inaudible.  
What Shade did not know was that his last words were, "Shade....I love you."  
"A!!" I shout, my own voice feeling foreign to me. I rise in my seat and had a arm extended out because I was reaching out for A. Everything I saw was in red tints again and I knew I woke up...  
*In Her Room*  
I stare blankly at the hand that was outstretched, only seeing the pale canvas of a hand I have. But I failed to notice that another person was in the room until a pale hand was in top of my own. I turned my head to meet owlish eyes staring back into mine, concerned and curious at the same time. But since I did not have enough time to think about my next move, I used my capoeira and with ease, slipped out of my sheets and kicked the person square in the jaw. The person who fell appeared to be male, I only had to look and see his original black, shaggy hair and slouch to know who it was I just attacked.  
L... oops...  
"I'm so sorry L! I wasn't thinking do when you touched my hand, I acted on pure instinct." I say and help him up. He says nothing and just sits like normal in his chair next to my bed. On my coffee table were a nice line of sweets and reports. All of them appeared to be complete from the looks of it.  
"I finished up the reports you were unable to. You were in a 2 week coma Shade." L says to me and my eyes widen. I guess 2 weeks is better than 2 years of being unconscious.   
"Is that so? Then, thanks L." I say and give his soft yet disheveled hair a ruffle. His eyes widened at my touch and soon relaxes in it.   
We just sat there in silence until his curiosity got to the best of him.  
"What type of fighting style was that? It wasn't judo or any other martial arts." L asks me as if he was a little kid getting something for Christmas.  
"It was my self-taught version of capoeira. It didn't take long to master it since you're not using much defense. It's mainly used for people who are quick on their feet and mostly use their feet." I respond slowly, my own voice feeling foreign to me. I can't believe I was out for 2 weeks...  
Oh well.. I look over to the side wall to read the clock and see it is 4 in the morning.  
[3rd POV]  
"Today is the day his funeral services will be held. I just thought you'd want to know that...." L murmured out only to find the person he was talking to no longer in the room. How did she move so fast? L continued to wonder but that question slipped his mind after he realized that she did something he didn't like, not letting him finish speaking. He always hated to when adults to anyone would interrupt him while he was speaking. But he just let this one time happen,he didn't want to assume this but he didn't think Shade is in her right mind. To him, after knowing her for 3 years, he learned a lot about her. Their thinking processes are much alike and he had someone to share his ideals and thoughts with besides Watari. The said man tried so hard to keep L locked away from other members of Wammy’s but Shade did not give up on finding L's room. Each time Watari moved his room, later that day, she would always find him. Watari only allowed Shade because she had a slightly higher IQ score than L. She visited him a lot when she couldn't find A or B so she always went to him. He didn't mind after a while and after that, he would at random times when he feels that he hasn't seen her recently, he finds himself going into her room and working on cases. Sometimes, he even sleeps on her bed. Now mind you, L had no idea why he always felt weird around the mentioned girl, he never really had the need to make any sort of connection towards his emotional state. He always thought that any type of feeling would get in the way to finishing cases. So, to this day he still never understood why he felt a foreign tingle when Shade shows him kindness. To see Shade not smiling or laughing the minute she woke up was surprising to L.   
That desperate and melancholic look in her eye when she kicked L made him realize when she lost A, she lost a part of herself....  
[Shade POV]  
When I got up to take a shower, despite the feelings of dread that engulfed me. I walk up to the mirror and looked in the mirror only to see my tired, insomniac self staring at my empty self. My usual bright pink hair was now slightly faded. I could only wonder why A would visit me in my subconscious before he moved on.  
That was all I could think of until I stared at the hair I hated so much, A always liked my hair....  
At the age of 10, a memory of A and I came back to me. We were playing hide and go seek and I got bullied by K and the other first generations. He found me crying in my closet.  
"Shade come out, it's okay now." He says softly and I crack the door open slightly only to see A staring directly at me. Being the scared child I was, I instantly reached for the door handle again to close myself in, only for him to grasp onto my wrist tightly and pull me to him. He, without hesitation pulled me into a soothing embrace. I instantly blushed and tried to pull away from him.  
"Even though everyone else says your hair color is weird, I like it." A says to me, smiling down at me like a mother. It made me feel warm inside. But the nagging doubt in his words made me flinch instantly.   
"No you don't you hate it...." I say as I bring my arms together.  
"That's not true, it reminds me of the cherry blossoms. You're a flower petal that longs to be noticed, praised, only to be forgotten, a lonely shadow who's the shade of the tree . But even when everyone else forgets you, I won't." He says and grazes his hands through my hair lightly and I nuzzle into his collarbone.  
".......Thanks A..." I say softly and he nods. I think that was the moment I realized I loved A more than a friend or a brother....  
I started tearing up at the memory and listened to the sound of the water in the shower running. Stepping into the shower, I watch as the blistering hot water makes my skin red, I don't even feel the pain of the water. Why am I not feeling anything?  
After coming across this, I get out of the shower and dry myself off. I wrapped myself in a large towel that reached my knees and I stepped out. The cool air conditioner that flowed through the room and hit the bare skin of my neck making me shiver. L didn't look at me because I knew he was not like the average teen so, I grabbed my clothes, headed back into the bathroom, and changed into some fresh clothes.   
[3rd POV]  
She grabbed the case she was previously working on before her coma and reviewed it to remember the general idea of the case. As she started typing on a laptop, she sat on her bed not paying attention to anything around her, that included L.   
But what she failed to realize is that, L was a human being. He was did something any other teen would do.  
[Shade POV]  
I watched as the put more and more dirt on A's coffin and as the last piece of dirt was on top of it, it started to rain. The rain it hit me over over and over again in big drops. Everyone ran inside and I was glad because I could finally let the tears flow.  
It was now midnight, after A's funeral. I was still wearing the little black dress that went a little bit past my knees and was the only one left outside staring at the patch of dirt they buried him at and all I wanted was to see his smiling face one last time.. The rain still did not stop, it kept pelting my face over and over again until suddenly, as if somebody said something funny. A tiny giggle comes out of my mouth, a series of them starts until I am on my knees laughing in front of his grave. I did not understand what was so funny for a while, so when I did, the laughter became uncontrollable.  
"A, I just realized something.......if you hadn't killed yourself, something else would have. Nothing would have changed your fate, you would have died some other way in the end! This is what Beyond was trying to tell me, we can't rewrite the dates of the people who are destined to die. When the number hits zero, you're dying no matter what!" I shout at the sky, the laughter long gone as thunder and lightening resounded through the sky. Oh how beautiful it was to see this. The revelation of it all made me laugh at my own idiocy.  
"So, you finally realize huh." Kurai says to me in a low whisper and when I turn around, lightening makes his face visible in the dark sky.   
"Yes..." I say absentmindedly.  
"Only Shinigami can see the deaths of people and we're the only ones that can change it." He says and as instantly as he came, he went away. Oh, I see why. Beyond was running up to me, he had a panicked look in his eye and I'm going to assume that he was looking for me.  
"Shade! I was looking all over for you, come on. Let's go inside." Beyond says, tugging me along as usual. I don’t say anything until we get back into my room and surprisingly, L isn't there. Beyond said that he couldn't stay in his room because of what happened and I said he could just stay with me. I sit on the edge of my bed and allow him to run a comb through my hair as he blow dries it.  
"You need to be more careful Shade. You could have gotten struck by lightning or something." B says to me and I decide to speak up.  
"Beyond......I understand now...." At hearing my words, the room goes silent.


	9. Consumed by Insanity

Trigger warning and suicide at the end of the chapter ~ The authors.   
[Beyond Birthday's POV]  
She finally understood what I have been trying to tell her for years. I let a smirk slip onto my features as she stares at me with a hint of insanity in her eye.  
“You do?” I ask her wanting to know her reasoning to suddenly understand what I’ve taken years to understand.\  
“Yes, once that person’s numbers reach zero, their fate can no longer be changed. But, what I found out is that we can change a person’s numbers by changing the events that are about to take place. Any person whose numbers reach zero, death is their only fate. If A hadn’t killed himself by the noose, he would have found some other way to kill himself. It’s just a cycle of never ending death….” she says and I chuckle at her analogy.  
“You are correct, death is a never ending cycle. Sure, we can change it; but what if, in the end, their fates were the same?” I ask her and she tilts her head to the side to think.  
"That person would die another way, the eternal suffering of death is sad to me." She replies and I quirk an eyebrow up for her to elaborate.  
"We all have a death day, even you Beyond. Where as I can't see my own, though...I wish I could see the death of the world..." she says, her arm reaching out. Her head tilts back to look at me and I see how serious she really is.  
My eyes widen at her words and a smirk spreads on my face.  
"I agree, that would be almost too perfect. If you did, what would you do?" I ask her and she closes her eyes for a couple of minutes. The silence was starting to annoy me actually. She never answered me though, because she'd fallen asleep in her chair.  
With her eyes and her features now relaxed, she looks like a doll. Her skin, so pure with a porcelain glow. The skin that I so badly want to paint knife marks along. But, while I can do this to everyone else, it's strange how I can never bring myself to hurt her at all. Like she's a canvas I don’t desire to corrupt.  
Out of every living, breathing human being, I want to be selfish and prolong her self-preservation. Together we fend off the dangers of the world to defeat L.  
But as I started scheming for the day it would happen in 2 years, I failed to realize that Shade was internally hurting herself. She started to not eat, taking on 10 cases a day. On some days, spend all day with L. And, that was something I should have paid attention to....  
*Time Skip* 2 Years Later  
[Shade POV]  
Since the death of A, I decided to try for the title of L. I haven't officially said it but, I know this is what A would have wanted me to do from the beginning. He believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. In memory of him, I worked myself to the bone, solving cases left and right. To me, it's the way of redemption.  
Thick, dark rings imprinted themselves under my eyes and lived there after a year and a half. Sitting in my room with no one was starting to get to me.   
Beyond was not always around me, as he was out constantly. Each time I would see him, the gaze of insanity he gives me gets more and more intense. I fear that A's death was the jumpstart to his insanity, but then again, it was also mine. My schizophrenia has gotten worse over the time and I accepted that, even if I constantly have hallucinations of him. Watari didn't like the sound of this and increased my dosage for night time. I never really ate much or left my room to spend my time with the children; I just continued solving new cases. Watari seems to overestimate my sudden increase of finished cases and keeps praising the fact that I am at the same pace of finishing cases as L is. I really don't care about that fact, we are both merely puppets for the big world that needs justice.   
This continues day after day. Sometimes, L would just randomly pop into my room and scare the living shit out of me becauses he sits over my form and stares down at me. I always use capoeira and kick somewhere on his upper body. He sits on a chair in his usual awkward position. I admit it does increase 40% of your deduction skills and I use it sometimes, but I never really needed to think much about how to solve my cases. It just clicks, I find the murderer, interview them, and then lock them up after underlying their motives. I scan my document on the murder of James Adams and read it aloud.  
October 28, 1998  
James Adams, a 28 year old man, was found decapitated in his residence. The time of death is 18:00. The police found the deceased at 23:00. Many people were suspected, but the person you'd least expect it of was his spouse. She only became a plausible suspect after the murder of 21 year old Marie Williams, a concubine of the sort, found in her single room apartment with her throat slit open. No signs of struggle were apparent because traces of melatonin were found in the blood sample. Sharon Adams knew of her husband's affair during the times she had been away and developed a grudge against the two lovers. But no one realizes a third-party was involved in this. Mrs. Adams hired a hitman by the name of John Michaels, who decapitated her husband for her. There were signs of struggle and a ounce of DNA that forensics failed to notice. Mr. Adams must have put up a fight and managed to get some of Mr. Michaels' blood on his bare chest. We managed to capture Mr. Michaels; but he would not tell us who he worked for when the evidence spoke more than the interrogation. On October 30, Sharon Adams committed suicide and left a note behind saying she killed the deceased concubine. John Michaels was sent to prison and prosecuted with a life sentence." I finished up and looked up only to find L's dark, panda face staring at me. Me, thinking it was a illusion, ignored it until he opened his mouth.  
"I see your finished Shade. Watari was right when he says you have great potential to be the next L. You had just received that case this morning too, might I add." His voice made me jump out of my skin as I started to focus again.  
As a peace offering, he slowly passed me my favorite vanilla cake. I reached for it and, without hesitation, ate it all too quickly. I realized that I must have not eaten in awhile because my stomach groaned in protest.  
"Not eating enough?" L's monotone voice rang out with a hint of mockery.   
"Yeah well...." I stare at the side wall as my face heats up with embarrassment. God, why did he always be right?!  
"I'll be back." He says and begrudgingly got off of my bed.  
"That's unusual of you. Usually you stay in one place for days. Why the sudden change of pace L?" I inquire and he  
shrugs before stepping out of my room.  
"Finally, I thought he’d never leave! I'm glad that he’s gone. How do you deal with him?" The sound of Beyond's voice rings out through my room and I know it's not my schizophrenia. Lately, he just sneaks in here without me knowing and tries to scare me.  
"Beyond, get out from beneath my bed." I say and he hums before appearing. He appears from under my bed, like a newborn crawling. It's just downright creepy to me. It seems after A’s death, he's always doing the weirdest stuff. One time, I found a cut open and blood drained dead bird in my closet, I had my suspicions it was Beyond's doing.  
"What is it now B?" I asked slightly annoyed by the thought of the mess I had to clean up.  
The weight of my bed shifted and Beyond was waaay to close to my face. I could feel his hard gaze set on me as I stared straight back into his eyes. The old him would have never voluntarily got in my personal space.  
"Feisty today aren't we now, Shade?" He asks me and he snickers. He tilts his head up and laughs three different ways before it died.   
"Which one sounded better? I prefer the second laugh....wait, how did it go again? Mmm...mm...mm-hmm-hmm-hmmm...mm, mm, mm-” He starts up in front of my face, head tilted back and shoulders hunched as his body shakes uncontrollably.  
“No Beyond. Just no…” I interrupt him and he gave me a small glare at interrupting his horrible laughter.  
“But I was so close to getting it right.” He whined and I gave him a pained smile. There is a bit of innocence left in this little psychopath, after all…  
The door opens to reveal L standing there with a cluster of sweets on a plate.  
B gives me a small smirk before walking out of the room and, for some reason, the sight of B made L aggravated.  
L shook it off quicker than I could have ever imagined and walked over to me. He sat on my bed, handing me vanilla cake with loads of whipped cream on it.  
For hours, we talked about cases and challenged each other's intuition to see how the other's mind worked. It was quite fun for a while, until I got bored and started eating my second slice of cake.   
But even though I had a great time talking to L, I couldn't stop the constant reminder of loneliness. I continued to stare at L’s expressionless face, him doing the same. He continued this indirect challenge when, all of a sudden, he reaches out and touches my face. He tilts my head slightly and leans in slightly. My eyes widened and then closed, only for his touch to go away and his presence to  back off.  
Confused, I open my eyes to see a small amount of whipped cream to be on his index finger.   
“Do not be mistaken, you had a drop of cream on your face. After a while it was starting to annoy me.” He says and I shake my head at what I previously thought he was going to do.  
He takes his finger and inserts it into his mouth sucking the contents off his finger.  
“Well then, thank you, I guess.” I say and he nods.  
At least I can always count on L to not have the mind of a teenage boy in the middle of puberty. If only we can go back to the old days, where A was alive and pursuing the title of L, when BB wasn't as psychopathic, when the pressure of being L was surreal. If I could, I could go back and just to make everything all right. I would hug A and tell him it's going to be okay, I would change BB’s ways, I would to tell myself that A's death wasn't L’s fault.   
I could barely feel the tears almost fall from my eyes, my whole body felt numb, and the reminder of my faults turn into heavy chains of regret. Good thing my room is always dark, From time to time, Beyond likes to tease me and flick the lights on.  
“Is everything alright Shade?” L asks me and touches my hand lightly, but even that small yet kind gesture made me cringe. He instantly backed away at the sight of me tensing.  
"Ah….it's. ..it's fine L. Sorry to scare you…” I respond back slowly feeling that foreboding of what's to come. Am I really that weak enough to decide this one road to Hell type fate?  
“On second thought L, I'd like to call it a night. Unlike you, I actually need some hours of sleep.” I somehow managed to tease him and he nods, gathering up all his things and walking out of my room. The small creek my door gave as it closed shut made me make up my mind mentally.  
I wait after the regular bedtime and accept the next case Watari gives me with a false happiness; but he managed to buy that I had a really good day. I gave everyone I saw that day a small smile and even laughed at Beyond’s antics. He thought it was a little odd but he just accepted it anyway and walked out.   
Once I hear nothing but silence, I get out of my bed. My mind feeling like a muddle of nothing, every thought I had against this was countered with all the pain I feel. With my body moving on it's own, my mind, a empty brain with no knowledge.   
I suffered the pain of A’s death and bared all the pressure with open arms as a sense of redemption. I love everyone in Wammy’s but the scars and memories this place holds is way too unbearable.  
I quietly opened the door to the roof and walked towards the edge and stare blankly at the ground below. Now I can see why A killed himself, the pressure this place holds is far too great for the adolescent mind.   
My eyes shed tears that meet with the pounding rain, the wind brushing roughly past my cheeks. From a distance you can see the bolts of lightning resounding with the clash of thunder. These tears are not of sorrow or regret. My decision doesn't bother me as much as it should. No, these tears are of happiness and relief. I won't have to bear the pressure of the world anymore and I can finally be free. My freedom is just right before me. For years I had to be selfless and responsible, but now it's my turn to be selfish. My very own life is my hands and my hands alone and I will be selfish by taking my own life.  
I stood up feeling absolutely nothing and start to whisper:   
“All the victims lives were in vain  
Were in vain, were in vain.   
Watch my tears as they fall   
My dear friend…”   
And with those final words, without any hesitation, I push myself off the ledge. My fall made me feel like I was a bird flying. I slowly closed my eyes as the ground got closer. I felt myself slam roughly to the ground and my insides crushed themselves. I can at least say I broke a few ribs and my arm. My pool of blood was worsening and my vision was blurred.  My eyes blinked one last time, but in my eyes I saw Kurai and a sense of realization dawned on me and I choked out a smirk at him.  
So….I…  
Everything went to black….


	10. Blood Mixed Tears

I bet you all thought Shade was dead, didn't you? Weeell, let's find out! WARNING: HAS DESCRIPTION OF  SELF-HARM, YOU WERE WARNED!!  
[Shade POV]  
In the darkness, I keep hearing a shrill voice scream my name from far away. I turn away from the voice until I hear the slamming of a door open.  
“Time to wake up Shade.” I hear the familiar voice of Kurai say to me and I blink, realizing that the fall did not kill me.  
The illusive blur of Kurai’s figure was the last thing I saw that made me realize my mistake. My life was not ready to be taken yet, the hands of life still have their chains tightly on me…  
The touch of someone's hand on my forehead made me jolt awake with a regretful start. My spine and chest ached from the fall but everything else appeared to be okay, despite my sprained ankle. My eyes open to see myself in the medical ward of the orphanage with Watari in my line of sight. There was a uncomfortable silence in the room that even when he left to go announce my consciousness, it still lingered.  
“Let me go!! I need to see Shade!!” The scream of a voice all too familiar, Mello.  
“She's still resting, its Watari's orders not to let anyone inside.” The voice of the maid, Lucy responded calmly. I rose up from the bed and let my legs dangle on the edge and oh so slowly, I stood up.  
“Nghn…!!” Pain jolted through my body like liquid fire through my veins making me almost fall back to my bed from the pain. I lean against the white walls and take a deep breath before moving, the pain was unbearable but I needed to calm down Mello and the other two.  
I open the door very slowly and poke my head out to see Mrs. Lucy blocking the door and Mello’s small frame having a tantrum, even Matt and Near were staring at the maid desperately.  
“Mrs. Lucy….let them in please…” I say, just now realizing how hoarse my voice was.  The three boys all ran up to me and pulled me into a hug. Smiling softly, I pat each other their heads as they snuggled into my gown.  
“Alright, I'll bring you your breakfast then.” She says and slightly hesitant, she walks down to the kitchen.  
I get dragged back to my bed by the boys because they saw my face cringe at the pain I'm feeling. After I sit on my bed, they all surround me and we sit in silence.  
“.....Hey Shade….are you gonna be okay now?” Matt asks me, finally looking up at me from playing with the stray ends of my hair. The other two look up at me with great desperation that it makes me feel guilty for my actions, to think, I was ready to leave these three adorable children behind like this..  
“...Yeah….I'm fine now….” I trail off, blanching out a bit before I realized Mello wrapped his arms around me tightly and snuggled his head into my abdomen. All you could hear in the room was Mello’s sniffles and I knew that he was crying. I looked over to Matt and Near to see they were crying as well but silently.  
The thought of these boys crying for someone as hopeless as me made tears fill up in my eyes. But what Near said next really made me start to cry.  
“We...we all thought you were gone Shade..” Near says, drying his eyes as more tears welled in mine. All the pent up fear, stress, and pain from all these years came up all at once and I did something I'd never done before… I hugged Matt and Mello as tightly as I could, and despite the ringing pain in the back of my mind, I broke down and cried.  
Honestly, I don't think I've ever cried this much in my life. Even as a child, I rarely weeped over the things I had to put up with. To me, it felt like a heavy weight was lifted off my shoulders and I sighed in relief after my crying passed. I closed my eyes and reflected on my actions, to not feel a guilty conscience… you would truly be the monster. I selfishly ran away from my pain and suffering, just ready to end it all… I truly am the worst.  
When I reopened my eyes, I noticed that the boys weren't there. Slowly rising in my hospital bed, I look outside, only to see that it was sunset.  
“How long have I been thinking? The anesthesia must have kicked in the middle of my thoughts…” I tell myself and see some various sweets on my table. L must have brought them, that was nice of him to think of me.  
“I should go thank L…” I tell myself, ready to get out of bed, despite the pain I feel at the bottom of my spine. I feel a hand rest on my shoulder, instantly I tensed up and gasped at the instant pain that flooded my veins. “There's no need to, I'm right here Shade.” The monotone voice of L said to me. I instantly relaxed at the sound of his voice and nodded softly. Gently helping me get back into the bed, he sits in front of me with a disheveled appearance.  
“You haven't eaten yet correct? If that's the case then you need to eat, get your nutrients back so you can have a functional thinking level.” L says to me and I was about to reach for the fork on the table and the plate full of vanilla cake but he takes the fork and plate away from me.  
“Hey, what are you-!” I was about to strongly protest but L shoved the sweet treat into my mouth, forcing me to be quiet. Each time I tried to protest the food in front of me, he would shove more into my mouth without any second thoughts.  
After about ten minutes of eating by force, he gets Mrs. Lucy to take the plate, but not before giving me my schizophrenia pills. The thought of taking those pills made me feel like they were putting chains around my mind, so I simply pretended to take them. Only to flush them down the toilet after she left. I go back to the room to find L staring out the window with a forlorn look on his usually blank features.  
I walk over to him-that harsh pain I felt, now gone and wrap my arms around his neck, despite his squatting position and embraced him from behind.  
“...Thank you L...for everything. I'm fine now, you don't have to worry about me anymore.” I say to him and he turns around in the hug, facing me, and hugs ne around my waist.  
“Shade, you wound me. I'll always be worried about you, without you…. the title L has no meaning. You are the only person whom I truly trust, so allow me to be selfish just this once…” He says to me making me blush slightly at his words. I honestly didn't think I meant that much to L…  
We just sit there on my bed, hugging each other with all our heavy baggage...we carry each other's.  
[3rd POV]  
As the two teens embraced, little did they know that they were being watched by a full of jealousy, Beyond Birthday. He stood in front of Shade's door with her favorite black cat plushie that she said always reminded her of the red eyed boy. He would swell with happiness when he saw her cuddling it to dear life, sometimes wishing it was him.  
“Tch, it's always him...I don't matter to her anymore…” He whispers to himself and with a sudden wave of anger and fear, he ripped the cat plushie’s head off its shoulders. The poor, useless limb fell to the ground in silence as Beyond Birthday, raging silently, walked away.  
On some random impulse he suddenly got, he walked back to his room and grabbed his switch blade. In the sunlight, it glinted dangerously and with a crazed, emotional smile, he carefully lifted his sleeve and cut himself in straight lines along the veins in his wist. The pain that the knife gave him made him forcibly open his eyes to reality. The burning sensation it left in its wake reminds him that he's human (more or less). That its okay for him to hurt and seek a way of release, therefore he chose cutting.  
Beyond stared blankly at the blood that trickles down in streams on his arm and watch them drip to the floor silently. The drops of blood symbolizing the tears he wished to cry so many times, now his only source of redemption.  
He wipes up the mess, applies alcohol to the wounds, and wraps up his wrist. He closed his eyes and in the back of his mind, he remembered a time when he was a innocent little boy, smiling life away with his pre-teen Shade. He reopened his eyes to see a picture of Shade and him when they were 13, an awkward year because it was the introduction to puberty. She had her arms wrapped around Beyond and was smiling brightly while A sat in the background, reading a book. Beyond himself was had a small, awkward smile across his boyish features as he let himself get hugged.  
Even today, at the age of 18, he can still hear Shade’s happily call out to him. Right now, it was the anesthesia to the deep wound in his heart. She always somehow managed to seep into his thoughts in his wake and when he was asleep, she never truly let him be. Just to erase the paranoia of his thoughts, he’s stalk her during the day and check on her when she least expected him to. This was not an obsession, since Shade was always the most unpredictable girl in Wammy’s, he will always have to watch the girl. Shade is always hiding how she truly feels and never relents to another person but Beyond so when he saw Shade with L….it made him feel jealous.  
Ah yes, this emotion that was still raging through his body wasn’t anger, but jealousy. The nasty demon that haunted his thoughts, never letting him breathe, but the question is, why did he feel this way? Was it because of the human feeling called ‘love’ perhaps? The type of love he saw when he had to sit through long K-dramas with Shade? He stood there reflecting on all the emotions he felt when interacting with Shade and his eyes widened in shock. He truly...did love Shade…  
And for some reason, this wasn’t as surprising as he thought. A small grin broke out on his face, he had already decided. In order to make Shade his queen, he must kill L and flee with her in his arms. Grabbing his switchblade, he calmly walked out of the room with the blade gripped tightly in his hand.  
[Shade POV]  
I got out of the bed -with the help of L- and opened my door because I believed that someone was standing there for the longest time.  
Sliding open the door, I walked out a little to see if anyone was there but only to find no one. After taking one more step forward, I felt something plush against me feet. Looking down, I saw my favorite plushie without its body on the ground staring up at me as if it was real from the start, only to be decapitated. Picking it up, I stare down the hallway and I just know that Beyond must have came to see me and saw me with L, got angry and in rage, ripped it. I guess I’ll have to sew it back later…  
“L, I’m going to find B.” I say to him and he nods, picking up all the case files and walking down the opposite hallway to his own room.  
With L finally gone and no one to tell me what to do, I race down the hallway and thanking God that my accelerated healing with the help of anesthesia healed my back.  
As I was racing through the hallway, I hear the soft thudding of footsteps and approach with greater speed, wanting to clear things with Beyond as soon as possible. As the footsteps get louder and louder, I see Beyond’s silhouette from the harsh rays of the sunlight that peered through the window next to me.  
“Beyond…” I start off and he comes towards me, only to stop in front of me with a weird look in his eye. Is there something wrong with him, I don’t think I’ve ever seen this expression from him before.  
“Beyond….I..” Reaching out a hand to him, I take a couple of steps until I’m near his face. He stares at me with disbelief and then snatches me outreached hand, pulling me to him.  
“Shade, is it really you, not some illusion?” He says, taking his free hand and stroking my cheek, turning my head left and right.  
Chuckling, I nod and hug him, knowing that he needs a world of affection. He tilts my chin to make me look up at him and my eyes widen at the sight of warmth and adoration in his eyes. A warm feeling comes over me at the sight of him being happy again and a smile spreads across my features.  
“.…” His face slowly comes closer with a hint of hesitation and I look to the right, feeling a blush come onto my features. He laughs and comes in closer, his nose touching mine.  
“Shade…” When he whispered my name, my eyes met his and soon, somehow, his lips were on mine. I noticed that he didn’t have any intention of letting go anytime soon. His kiss was hesitant but I laughed internally and pushed back, a feeling of butterflies filling me as he held me tighter.  
“Is this really happening?” Soon though, all my thoughts were muddled and I just focused on my childhood friend in front of me. I really don’t know what’s going to happen from here although, with this kiss getting more heated, I couldn’t care less…  
“Are you sure you want to do this with me?” Our lips, still connected, he murmured to me and stared at me with disbelief and uncertainty.  
Buzzing with energy, I pulled on his white shirt and made him lean into me again, kissing me. Pulling away slightly, I grin at him. “Just shut up and kiss me you idiot.” And so he did.  
[3rd POV]  
The two teenagers kissed each other with a deep passion, years of knowing each other made this type of interaction okay with the both of them. Most people always said that if A and Shade didn’t get together then it would be Beyond and Shade.  
Beyond continued to kiss the girl that he has loved all this time and held her by the waist tighter, not ever wanting to let go of his queen, the only person who deserved being called Birthday.  
Although, a sudden ravenous hunger that was filled with desire flooded his veins and made it feel like he was devouring Shade like a hungry ghoul. Scared of his own actions, he pulled away and instantly went back to the cage he created for himself and only himself.  
“Beyond… what’s wrong?” Shade asked him and he just backed away, on primal psychopathic instinct, he pulled out his switchblade. He takes a couple of steps back to distance himself from her and mainly trying to run from himself.  
“....Stay back!" He says to her with so much hesitation but those two words made tears fill Shades eyes. His hand which held the blade twitched at the sight of her crying face but he was internally fighting his own demons, she couldn’t be near him like this.  
Shade takes a couple of steps towards him and he freezes, this gives her a chance to stand in front of the blade.  
“Shade please, just stay away from me...please.” He pleads for her to but she shakes her head and stares at the sharp point of the blade that was slowly getting nearer as she walked closer to him.  
“I will never leave you Beyond, we can talk about this..Just put the blade down.” She says and gets closer to him making him flinch. That animalistic being that he’s fought for so long has decided to bang at its cages, it’s only source of feeding is to see Shade’s blood splattered everywhere. That oh so perfect canvas that he’s fought so hard not to ruin will soon be painted red if she doesn’t get away. He was slowly losing to the beast and an animalistic growl that came from his own mouth made him realize that the beast has already won…  
“I can help you, please Beyond.” She says, smiling and Beyond, no longer himself, lashed out at the girl with no mercy in his wake. Beyond slashed the blade across the girl’s face, she didn’t even gasp in pain. Shade just flinched at the feeling of the switchblade hitting her eye through and through. The blood trickled down in a stream as the girl didn’t make a sound as she still came towards the now helpless boy.  
Beyond, in shock, dropped the blade making it clatter to the ground. His eyes widened in horror as he watched Shade’s beautiful left eye get cut open. She held her eye with her left hand and he could only watch as the blood came gushing out, past her hand. Even still, what surprised him the most was the fact that she was still smiling at him as she moved closer to him.  
“Shade!! I…” Beyond could barely speak, shouldn’t she be getting mad at him for cutting her period?! She really is a good person, any other person would run away and go tell Watari. (*Cough* K *Cough*).  
“Shh.. it’s okay Beyond...I still love you, all of you.” She falls into his arms and he, still scared to touch her, hesitantly wrapped his arms around her. She forgave him, for this, and for all the other things he might have done to her.  
“Thank you….thank you Shade…” Beyond whispers over and over as they fall to the floor together, Shade’s blood slowly coating his shirt as her blood started to clot in her eye.  
“I told you I’d never leave you B, I would never do that to someone that I love.” Shade leans out of his shoulder to look him in the eye and with one closed, still bloody eye, she kissed him. Only long enough for her to know that he wouldn’t leave her and that she would never leave him either.  
“Let’s get your eye looked at.” Beyond says and picks her up bridal style, taking her back to his room. Two years of surgically dealing with dead and alive animals made him feel glad that he knew what to do with her eye.  
Pulling her into his room, he opens the bathroom door and gently sits her down on the sink. Opening the medical cabinet, he pulls out some bandages and eye drops. Going back to her, he sees her staring at the floor absentmindedly and he turns on the faucet behind her. Letting the water run, he pulls out a clean towel and puts the towel in the warm water.  
“This might hurt a bit Shade, just bear with me okay?” Beyond says and starts dabbing at the dry blood that surrounds her eye. Once that was all clean, he grabbed the antibiotic eye drops and tilted her chin.  
“Just think of me, only me.” He says and puts the first drop in her eye. The hand that was gripping his arm out of nervousness was puncturing his skin, leaving crescent marks across his skin.  
"...It burns…” She whispers and he tries to soothe her, feeling worse by the second as he put the next drop in her eye and she withered in pain and groaned in agony. After she finally calmed down, he wrapped her head and went from her forehead and her left eye. When he was finished, she smiled gently at him making his heart swell at the sight instead of resentment.  
“Thank you, thank you for accepting me, and all my issues.” He says and she touches his cheek with her right hand, her left wrapped around his neck, pulling him in.  
She kissed him for a full minute before they pulled apart, breathless, fully carrying all the events that happened over the years They always seemed to weigh them down, but now they can face the world together.  
“Shade, I really do love you.” Beyond says, they were now laying on his brand new bed that Watari got him when he realized that with the two being in puberty, they needed to be in separate rooms.  
“I know, I love you too Beyond…” She says as she nuzzled his chest with affection. At last, the feelings that she developed over the two years since A’s death could finally be spoken of. She no longer had to worry about being rejected or letting their relationship never be the same.  
“You don’t have to worry anymore, I’ll always be right by your side.” She says to him and he embraces her, pulling her close.  
“You promise?” He asks, and Shade knew deep down that the boy that was still vulnerable to the world that always wanted to be locked away was still there. The broken boy she found in the past is still here and she’s picking up all his broken pieces.  
“I promise on the blood that I shed for you today.” Shade laughs morbidly at her own thoughts and he combs her hair out of comfort. Through all the blood and the tears, they would find their truths together, or perish in the pursuit of them.


	11. Before Your Time Runs Out

A/n: This chapter is based off of the LABB Murder Case which is a really amazing book that I recommend to Death Note fans.

*8 Years Later*

[Shade POV]

As I sat on a chair in my temporary apartment, I couldn’t help but feel like it was so long ago when everything went to hell, but that was just the beginning of the chaos. Beyond and I were now 24 years of age, L is 22, Matt’s 16, Mello’s 17, and Near is 15. Everyone here at Wammy’s House are getting older, I could still vividly remember when I just came to this place.

All of the people in Wammy’s House have been so nice to me and I couldn’t ask for anything more from Watari. I’m pretty sure if he hadn’t of gotten me on that day, I would probably end up in the same—or worse—situation. I made sure that I counted my blessings for someone as kind as Watari, in a way he’s my father figure. Even if he wants to shower me with various cases, he does it because he believes I can handle being put under pressure.

Beyond and I’s relationship had put me in a brighter mood to where my nightmares started to fade slowly. This also made me stop seeing various Shinigami, and Kurai disappeared from my sight after my attempted suicide, after adding a rule into his death note. I knew though that wouldn’t be the last time I’ll be seeing him however.

Kurai explained to me before his disappearance that these eyes I was given are able to foresee a person’s lifespan and I have the potential opportunity to save that person. It would have been nice for him to have told me that before A’s death but I knew that was a lesson for me to learn on my own.

I haven’t had much of a need save anyone from their death because everyone’s lifespans in this orphanage were very long surprisingly. I knew that someday my power would be useful, I just wasn’t sure of when or what.

As I was lost in thought, my phone began ringing, and my piano music flooded the room I was in.

Preparing myself for the worse, I take a deep breath, and answer the phone.

“Yes, L?” I ask, already knowing that it was him because of what time it was. Reflecting on all of those times we'd work on cases till the morning brought a small smile to my face.

“There was another murder and I need you at my hotel, now.” L says in a clear voice, knowing he had no need to decrypt it and because of it, I can hear the frantic tone in his voice, although it was very faint.

Letting out a sigh, I stood from my chair, and went over to my closet to pull out my black leather jacket, listening to L speak with my blue-tooth in my ear.

“I'm on my way, L.” I say to him, thus ending the call, and once I grabbed my motorcycle keys, I was out of my apartment door.

“Damn it B, you're really not making this easy for me…” I huff out in frustration, vaulting myself onto my motorbike, and jerking my keys into my ignition.

Just last year, Beyond jokingly mentioned that we could become serial killers with our eye powers, and serve our own form of justice. I instantly denied his ‘request’ but what I didn’t realize was that my answer would change his views permanently. I could still vividly remember it all so very much….

“Shade, you know with our eye powers, we could become serial killers.” Beyond said while laying his head on my lap, I was absentmindedly running my hand through his soft locks.

“Hm, I don’t think I want to do that….” I said hesitantly and he looked up at me with a surprised look.

“Why, we could be partners in crime. With my brute power and your genius, we’d be unstoppable! Think about it.” He says, picking up a singular lock of my pink hair, and twirling it between his fingers.

“B, I’m on the path of justice. I don’t think that it’s justified to kill people at all. Even if they’re going to die anyway…” I said and he rose up from my lap, glaring at me heatedly.

“You know, I thought you of all people would understand...Why did you have to take L’s side?!” He screamed at me and my eyes widened in surprise.

“I’m not on L’s side, I’m just on the side of justice. I see to it that justice is served and the person is put behind bars, not the other way around.” I say calmly and put a hand on his shoulder to calm him which he eases into lightly.

We sat in comfortable silence once more until Beyond sat face to face with me, his eyes holding a determined glint in his red irises. I stared at him, confused at his sudden actions until he got closer.

“Shade...what if I told you I was leaving today? That I was going to give L a run for his money.” Beyond questions me and my eyebrows furrow at the thought of it.

“Beyond, what could you possibly do….you wouldn’t…” My voice was filled with uncertainty and fear struck me when I saw that maddening glint return into his eyes.

“I’m going to give L the most difficult case he’s ever had. I will prove to him that I’m better.” Beyond began to ramble and my concern skyrockets.

“Beyond, I don’t think that’s a good ide—” I begin to say but he pressed his finger to my lips, successfully silencing me.

“Shh, Shade...it’s better if you don’t see my reasoning. I’m going to have the time of my life with this, and even you won’t be able to stop me.” Beyond says, hopping off of my bed, and pulling out some already packed bags.

After he spoke his words, I just stood there, completely examining him.

‘Ah… his numbers. They’re decreasing slightly.” I watch as the numbers went down to where he only had a couple of months left. Fear began to rise into my heart, making my eyes dilate as I could only focus on the figures above his head.

‘You’ve failed him…’ Resounded through my head the more I stared at him. I clench my hands into fists and shake my head to rid my mind of my failure.

He ended up chasing after L in the end, an attempt to show L that he was more than his doppelganger. That he was an individual person, so that's why he believes he must become a criminal.

If that's how it's supposed to be then...

“Fine, I won't hinder you but just know I'll stop you before things get out of hand. I won't let you go too far off of the deep end. Because I’m not ready to let you go yet.” I tell him, doing my best to put on a brave face, giving him a false smile.

He returns my grin, clearly knowing that it was fake as well, but doing it anyways just to ease the pain slowly seeping into my heart as he walked towards the door.

I grip my hand tightly to my chest to help ease my anxiety of this situation, trying my best to keep staring into his eyes. But out of guilt, I hastily turn around, taking one hand to wipe away a stray tear.

But before I could shout at him to get him to leave, I could hear his bag drop, and he came to wrap his arms around my waist.

“Beyond-” I start to say but he quiets me, but his embrace became tighter.

“This is not goodbye, Shade. I promise that I'll come back to you in the end. So please, don't cry for me?” He asks, giving me a light peck on the cheek, and a soft smile that I haven't seen since we were children.

Letting out a sigh to ease my inner turmoil, I turn around to give him a serious glare to which he flinches in our embrace, slightly loosening it.

“If you're to be the perfect criminal then I'll make sure that I save you from execution.” I tell him, trying my best to hide my tears from his gaze that still lingered on me.

And that's how I come to currently stand in front of a deceased woman's house, staring at her front porch, and analyzing a way for me to get in.

I was allowed entry but there was no telling when Naomi Misora would enter, but I still should have some time because I was the first to know about the murder.

“Ah, I should enter the top floor window.” I say calmly to myself, easily climbing the pillar from the side of the house, and placing myself on her hallway window sill.

“Now what kind of murder do you have for us now, B?” I mutter to myself, easily unlocking the window’s lock that Bottomslash had on the outside of her window which was a simple mistake.

Hastily sliding in through the window, I hoped the cover of night would keep me from being discovered, which it did. If I did get found out, I just needed to show my ID that Watari had made for me.

I put on my rubber gloves, taking out multiple pins that I use to pick lock doors of this caliber.

I managed to pick the lock of the bedroom door, edging it open slightly in case he was still around. The door made a small creaking noise and I swore under my breath, going ahead and pushing it open.

Luckily he wasn’t in the room because I know he would have wanted to avoid confrontation is his ‘perfect’ murder. Quickly taking pictures of things that stood out, I had very little time to properly examine the room and the banker’s decapitated body.

“From what I can see, he’s ruptured many organs in her body considering how bruised her body appears, and he took her left arm with him.” I say, doing my best to analyze without touching anything.

Just as I finished jotting everything down in my notebook, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket once more, and I knew I had to answer.

“This is S.” I say, deciding that it was unfair for L to always have the first word in the conversation.

“Naomi Misora is on her way to the house with the private investigator, make sure that you leave everything back to where it was.” L says, but I sense the hesitance in his voice. I decide that I will question it later because I need to clean my tracks.

My training as an assassin hasn’t been for nothing after all, how else do you think I’m still on the other side of the bars.

Cleaning off the doorknob with a clean cloth, I make my way over to the window in the hallway, and angle the lock to where it won’t seem like there’s a breach to Naomi’s eyes.

Naomi Misora has always been a respectable person in my eyes, and I’m sure she’d understand my reason for being here but I want to avoid explanation.

Hopping onto my motorbike, I manage to speed off, and right after I make a turn down the block towards L’s temporary housing.

[3rd POV]

“This must be the place.” The black haired FBI agent uttered, getting out of her car, and enters the house with the private detective at her side.

Her stomach began to tighten in anticipation with each step she took through the house. She’d experienced worse cases than this but for some reason, they got to her every time.

Especially that child…

She shook her head to rid herself of those haunting thoughts, she had to face the present in order to move on from her guilt.

When she finally organized her thoughts, she looked down the hallway to see Rue inspecting something, it was clear that he was lost in thought.

“Did you find something odd, Ryuzaki?” She spoke, making her way towards the mysterious male to see that he was staring out the window, when he was really inspecting the lock on the window.

“Hm? Oh no, nothing odd in the slightest. I was just wondering how a banker could get such a expensive house.” He said quickly covering any suspicion that Naomi may have had of him.

When in truth, his thoughts were on the pink haired female that he knew came to investigate the scene under L’s direct order. Turning away from Naomi, he let a grin grace itself across his features.

‘Well played L, sending the person who knows me the most after me. But she knows how important this is to me, so she won’t interfere…’ He thought to himself, forcing down the chuckle that threatened to rise in his throat.

To mask his odd behavior, he looked over to Naomi who was examining the body of Backyard Bottomslash, and laid flat on the floor.

“Um, Ryuzaki?” He hears Naomi question him, glad the the victim's room was spacious because his long hair would have gotten in the blood.

“I’m a corpse.” He bluntly says, positioning himself the same way Bottomslash was.

“Huh?” She questions, adding this to her list of odd occurrences with the private—un-private—detective.

“I have become a corpse. I cannot answer you, I am dead.” He responds dully, staring up at the ceiling, the feeling of anticipation rose inside of him when his eyes caught sight of the two Wara Ningyo dolls.

‘The finale is getting closer…’ He thinks to himself, waiting for Naomi to follow along with his intentions of becoming a corpse.

“I see, thank you for going over there undetected Shade.” L said to me after hearing my full synopsis of the current murder and a grin appeared upon my features.

“Oh, what’s this? The almighty L has said thank you? That’s really a surprise.” I say jokingly, walking over to his hunched over form on the couch, and plucking the plate of vanilla cake he had from his hands, to which he gave a small pout, but reached for another slice.

“I’m just kidding, L. You know I do my job with my eyes only on completion, or at least that's how I was taught to be.” I say, taking a forkful of cake, and putting it in my mouth. Did I forget to mention how much I love vanilla cake?

“I am well aware Shade, why you chose that of all professions still amazes me, but none the less.” He says, plucking the strawberry from the top of his cake, and taking a huge bite out of it.

“It’s what I do best now, and besides, I make up for it by assisting you. And it’s not like you need my help majority of the time.” I say, thanking Watari for the glass of water that he offered me, and I took a sip of it.

“I feel that you are unaware of how much I depend on you Shade. Because I have to fear for my life constantly, I am glad that you have been my eyes and my ears since we’ve started this path of justice. You were the first one that I had given the title of friend.” He says and my eyes widened at his words, crossing my legs on the couch.

"Wow, L. That’s one of the more heartfelt things I’ve ever heard come from you.” I laughed, placing my half eaten plate of cake onto the coffee table. I look over to him to see that he was directly staring at me, and I give him a pat on the head to show him how much that meant to me.

But when I stared into his eyes, somehow, that deep and serious stare kind of reminded me of B, which made my heart flutter.

‘I wonder what he’s doing now…’ I think to myself, although I can deduce that he’s preparing for the final murder, I’m just not sure of who it may be.

“Well if you keep doubting your importance, expect more in the future Shade.” He finally comments, probably taking notice of how quickly my mood dropped. Shaking myself from thoughts of him,

“Hey!” I shout, feeling flustered at his words, and lightly jab him in his side. He knows that I don’t take compliments well, so why would he say something like that.

“Sigh, I guess I’ll try to go to bed now because I know tomorrow’s going to be a long day. Goodnight L, Watari.” I say after finishing the last bit of my cake, and passing the dish to Watari to wash.

Heading into the single room of the hotel, I go to the bathroom first to go wash my hands, and tie up my hair. Slowly combing my hair through my hands, I manage to pull it up into a nice bun, with my eyes closed in relaxation.

It’s not like L really uses the actual room because he rarely gets any sleep, so I have as much bed space as I want.

When I reopened my eyes as I entered the bedroom, I noticed that a pen was lying on the ground.

“This must have fell from my jacket pocket.” I say, familiarizing myself with the pen. But when I refocused my attention on the floor, I jumped back slightly when I saw blood splattered on the floor, with my eyes widened.

“...Its not there...not there…” I try to tell myself, taking deep breaths when I realized that it was the exact same blood splatters from Backyard Bottomslash’s crime scene.

Taking multiple deep breaths, I let out one big sigh, before dropping myself onto my bed, getting comfortable. I continued to have a deep breathing pattern so that I can calm my tensed body.

“Try to get some sleep…” I whisper to myself, honing my hearing to hear the silent typing coming from the other room. The fact that there was another presence that I felt comfortable with helped me drift off to sleep.

[3rd POV]

“Does Shade’s direction of her attention bother you L?” Watari spoke, looking over at L whose typing ceased.

“What has given you a reason to assume something like that, Watari? I’m not bothered by something like that in the slightest.” He says, biting his thumb nail.

“Oh nothing, I’m just glad that you let her on the case. I know you thought that previously that her personal relationship with him would have gotten in the way, but it clearly hasn’t.” He says, cutting L another slice of cake.

“I just don’t understand why he would go as far as ending another person’s life to get my attention, Watari.” L says, taking another bite from his cake.

“I can see why Shade is trying so hard to end this case so that she can stop him from self-destruction.” Watari said, staring out of the window.

As I was getting prepared to end Beyond’s crime, L stood in the doorway, leaning uncomfortably against the doorframe until I invited him in.

“So, what have I done or what am I about to do that made L grace his presence upon me?” I say teasingly and he has the nerve to roll his eyes at my antics.

“Nothing is of the matter. I just wanted to see you off and make sure all of your bags were packed because after his case is over, we’re departing.” He says and I feel a twinge of pain in my heart at that.

“Yeah, I know. Just make sure you keep my side of the deal about sending him to Florida's prison because that one also has psychiatric help.” I say to him and he nods.

“The preparations for Beyond’s imprisonment have already been made. All we need to do now is capture him.” L says and I give a small smile at that.

“Thank you. You have no idea just how important this is for me…” I say, walking towards my phone because my phone went off.

“Oh, looks like my special chocolate chip cookies are done.” I say and L’s eyes brightened at the thought of my sweets, but then turned to a look of confusion.

“Not that I have no reason to accept this dessert but when did you have the time to make cookies?” He asked, following me into the mini kitchen where Watari sat with a coffee in hand.

“Morning Watari.” I say to him and he nods at my greeting.

“A pleasant morning it is, Shade.” He responds, giving me a light pat on the arm as he observes my movements.

Once I take the cookies onto the cooling rack, I give L a warning look.

“Now we don’t want the greatest detective getting fat on us, so Watari, make sure he eats these in moderation.” I say to Watari, diverting my attention from L who was attempting to take a hot cookie from the rack, and I hit his hand for doing so.

“Now, I’m going to save that big idiot, and there better be some cookies left for me.” I say, pulling my rucksack of supplies onto my back, and walking out of the door.

[3rd POV]

‘I never got to truly scar her. I guess I failed in keeping her happy as well….’ Beyond thought to himself, dumping loads of gasoline onto the carpet floor, watching with widened eyes as the liquid seeped into the floor.

His mind was filled with nothing but thoughts of the things he should have done for Shade, and wondering how much his relationship with her really meant to her.

“Let’s get this show started.” Beyond whispered, adding fuel to his own body for extra measure. He didn’t want a single spec of his body to remain after this…

And so, he lit the room on fire, setting everything into a heated blaze. He closed his eyes and stood there patiently as the smoke made it harder for him to inhale, until the flames finally began licking at his feet with it’s fiery embrace.

“Ah… if only I could see the death of the world.” He muttered to himself, his consciousness fading to the darkest corners of his mind. He felt his body hit the floor with a loud thud, and the flames began licking at his clothes. He heard a loud crash and used the last bit of his strength to direct his gaze at the broken window to spot a lock of pink hair from the corner of his field of vision.

“...B….ond!!” He could hear her voice cry out to him and a feeling of complete happiness filled him, making a smile ghost his pained features.

‘Shade, she came for me like she said she would...Maybe she… was my world all along…’ He thought to himself, finally closing his eye, and feeling his body relax.

When Shade arrived into the room, the sight of Beyond burning himself was almost devastating to her. She couldn’t believe that this is what he wanted to do as his final murder. But then again, it made sense because that would make his case closed, but she wouldn’t let that happen to him, not to a person that she’s cared for. She saw his numbers fall rapidly the longer she stood there until she couldn’t take it anymore.

‘I won’t let you die here, Beyond. No… you won’t leave me like this.’ Shade thinks to herself and she quickly hauled him up, and ran into Naomi Misora as she was trying to make an escape.

“Ms. Kitagawa, what are you doing here?” She asks but Shade shakes her head, ignoring her question.

“That’s not important right now, please call an ambulance after you extinguish the flames with that fire extinguisher over there.” She said calmly, letting out a sigh of relief when she noticed his numbers return to their original state, and this would be her proof of being able to save a person before their death.

“Right away.” Naomi said, racing to grab the extinguisher, and began to put out the rapidly growing flames.

Once they were gone, Naomi turned back around to see her superior nowhere to be seen.

She decided to ignore it for now, but had a feeling that she would see her again soon...

“And you’re sure it’s a good idea to meet her like this?” I ask, turning to the man who absolutely hates going outside, but made this a special occasion to properly give Naomi her payment himself, even though he could have sent me himself.

“This is something I must do. Besides, Watari insisted that I do this myself, and not send you.” He said, a small pout appearing on his face and she grinned at him.

“Aw, the fledgling has begun to leave the nest. I bet that-” I begun to tease him but I stopped myself to allow myself to fully concentrate on the quickened footsteps from the south of me.

“Hyah!” I hear a feminine voice shout above us, and the next thing I know, Naomi Misora appears, trying to land a high kick on L’s head to subdue him.

Tensing up one arm, I use my jacket covered arm to assist in blocking her kick, wrapping an arm around it to throw her down to the ground.

“Ms. Kitagawa, stand aside. The man who is beside you is dangerous.” Naomi says and I begin to laugh aloud at the thought of L being hostile. He’s as hostile as a hibernating bear.

“Oh please, that’s L in the flesh to give you your rightfully earned money.” I whisper into her ear and she looks back and forth between us multiple of times. Seeing that she was no longer a threat, I release her from my hold.

“I’m so sorry, sir.” She said once she properly situated herself, bowing to him in apology which makes me begin to laugh again.

“She’s a true guard dog, L. I can see why you’ve hired her.” I tell him to which he pulls out her money which was placed in an envelope.

As they began to talk, a thought passed in my mind, causing me to reach for my phone in my jacket pocket.

Dialing the correct number, I begin to walk away from the pair, and go through the automated settings to seek a operator.

“Hello operator, give me patient number 84.” I whisper to where no one can hear me and I can practically hear the grin in his voice over the receiver.

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. This is pretty much Shade's reaction to Beyond becoming a serial killer, and her overall insight on the case. She didn't want to interfere with the case too much because she knew that B worked hard to create a challenging case for L.


End file.
